KAZOO ON A G STRING

I turned on my tunes, but my tunes were not there,

A check went to subscriptions but, my check account was bare,

So quiet was my place,

I stuck a kazoo in my face,
I learned to play Strauss waltzes and Bach's G String, blowing air.

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CANADIAN FIRES AND I''M MISSING THE FAIR

Horrible air, just about everywhere,

It comes from Canada, it's like breathing hair,

If the lungs get more filled, 

I'm afraid I am killed,

I doubt that I make it to the Fall Harvest Fair.

MABEL NEEDED MINTS

Mabel had no Listerine,

She lost her boyfriends, Fred and Dean,

She had the breath of a bear,

With poor hygiene care,

A smell so strong, some say it was seen.