LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
monsters
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
monsters
.
Show all posts
Tuesday, February 27, 2024
THE BEAST OF SUMER VALLEY
The beast that lives in Sumer Valley,
Eats the peasants, quite a tally,
He will jelly them for toast,
Or for dinner, a lamb roast,
With pitchforks and torches, the peasants will rally.
Saturday, February 3, 2024
WOLVES OF THE DRUID
There are these big, vicious wolves called alpha-males,
When I feed them people, the wolves wag their tails,
I'm a druid in the woods,
I feed wolves Red Ridding Hoods,
After dinner they sing in their howls and wails.
Thursday, February 1, 2024
SNAGGING THE PLATYPUS REX
I went fishing for some giggles and thrills,
And maybe a flopping mess of bluegills,
I caught a huge snag,
I don't like to brag,
It was a big platypus with two bills.
42523
Thursday, January 18, 2024
ZOMBIE CAREER ADVICE FOR DUMMIES VOLUME I
If you want to be a Zombie, you see a dentist first,
Without two good rows of teeth, your Zombie career is burst,
Your teeth must bite, tear and rip,
Even though the blood might drip,
Remember to eat those moist, tender brains, they will quench your thirst.
Tuesday, January 2, 2024
JIMMY THE WEREWOLF LIMERICK
Jimmy the werewolf eats only toes off of feet,
His diet is strictly eating toe meat,
He loves chewing toe bone,
If it hurts, just make a loud moan,
Don't run or, he'll put teeth to your seat.
Monday, January 1, 2024
THE HATCHING OF KAYZEARS THE DRAGON
Kayzears the dragon popped out of an egg,
As soon as she popped, she ate my left leg,
The kids hid in a box,
Kayzears was smart as a fox,
After snacking on children, she scarfed down my wife Peg.
Tuesday, December 26, 2023
THE WERECOYOTE
A werecoyote has come along,
So, I wrote a werecoyote song,
He was my best friend Mat,
Then he ate my tom cat,
A werecoyote is a critter that's just wrong.
Friday, December 8, 2023
WHEN I MET AN AMOEBA MONSTER LIMERICK
I had a really bad, bad fright,
It was a weird monster I met one night,
It was a green Amoeba,
It's name was Reba,
I think my eyeballs weren't screwed in right.
Monday, October 23, 2023
WEREWOLF WAITING
There was a werewolf waiting up in an oak tree,
He was waiting there for hours, just for me,
He jumped down on my head,
Made me feel half dead,
Then he took off saying, he had to go pee.
Sunday, October 15, 2023
THE YETI AND THE BANNANA
I looked out my train window, and saw a big yeti suit,
I think it was a guy, but it ran when the train went, "TOOT",
It ran into a chicken coup,
Could not see it, oh gosh, darn poop,
Out it came with a beer can, eating a banana fruit.
Friday, October 13, 2023
FRIDAY THE 13TH, BROWNIES AND "DIE DAY"
It is the evil number 13, on a Friday,
In the scary movies, it is known as the "die day",
You all better beware,
Get too much of a scare,
The back of undies, will have a big brownie pie day.
Monday, September 25, 2023
THE ZOMBIE IN THE APPLE TREE II
There was a big zombie sitting in my apple tree,
Now, he is terrorising glass jars, in my pantry,
He's eating all the canned pears,
And, those canned diced, carrot squares,
I no longer need the stores, he ate my family.
A ZOMBIE IN MY APPLE TREE
There was a zombie sitting in my apple tree,
Chewing on the bones of my little collie,
I called him a brat,
Told him to scat,
He just kept chewing, and looked funny at me.
Sunday, September 10, 2023
HUNTING KILLER POTATOES
I don't know what happened, but my potatoes went feral,
They grew big mouths with big teeth, and ate my sister, Carol,
They ate my dad and my mum,
And, drank half of my rum,
The way that I'll stop them, is with lead from my gun barrel.
Monday, September 4, 2023
COMPETING WITH ZOMBIES IN TGE WORKPLACE
I guess zombies are good at coding, at least that's what everybody says,
I didn't think zombies did much, but eat brains and snack on Pez,
Stick an AI in a zombie head,
And, they will code until their eyes aren't red,
Zombie coders find good jobs, because they have an awesome res.
Wednesday, August 30, 2023
DRINKING WITH MONSTERS WITH RUNT
There was a bloody, forest beast, who lived behind my chicken shack,
And, every one of my neighbors, swears he did them, an attack,
So, the beast I had to hunt,
Took my hunting dog, named Runt,
We tracked the beast to the pub, he bought a round, so we kicked back.
Monday, August 28, 2023
NESSIE EATS FLIP UP
The Loch Ness monster has ate the seahorse, named Flip,
From the time we were little, Flip was tied to my hip,
Nessie did my Flip wrong,
So I'll write Flip a song,
And, I'll get a new seahorse buddy, named Zip.
VAMPIRE TAKES ADVANTAGE, NOT
Jim's driveway was all washed away,
So Jim's trailer is where he had to stay,
A vampire was on the loose
He bled out Jim's goose,
Jim told him he could suck out his blood, if he'd pay.
Sunday, August 27, 2023
I FOUND THE LOCH NESS MONSTER IN MICHIGAN
I found the Loch Ness monster, swimming in Saginaw Bay,
I don't know how she got there, but her wake near swamped the quay,
Nessie really teases,
She swims where she pleases,
It's hard to tell where she'll be spotted, on a given day.
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
THIS ZOMBIE POEM KILLS
Seven brain hungry zombies followed me home,
I used a rock and cracked three of them in the dome,
I defeated three with a stick,
They don't move real quick
I destroyed the seventh one's brain, when I recited this poem.
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