THE FOREST PRIMEVAL MONSTER

I went to the snow filled forest, Primeval, today,

To cut down some trees, to heat my cabin until May,

Used a sleigh, pulled by dogs,

To bring back all my logs,

A forest monster, followed me back to where I stay.

Depression, Starvation, No Heat: It Must Be Christmas Again

I got sacked before Christmas, and will receive no more pay,

I won't get my Christmas bonus, it's not coming my way,

My kids will get no new toys,

No food for girls and boys,

And, off goes the heat and the lights, now it's a dismal day.

I SEE THE CAN AS HALF FULL

Our outdoor potty seems far, far away,

As the cold wind blows on this winter day,

There is the old coffee can,

Half filled by our cousin, Ann,

I will top it off, then inside I'll stay.

BEARDED IRIS IN THE SNOW

I spied a bearded iris in a sea of white snow,

I couldn't imagine what made that lovely iris grow,

The cold made me sneeze, hack and cough,

It should have killed the iris off,

Then a fawn stoped and ate it, watched over by a doe.

GASSY SNOWMAN PART ONE

I put beans in my snowman, to see if he would get gassy and grow,

Low and behold he farted, and the fart had a big yellowish glow,

I didn't know whatever to do,

Snowman farting is something new,

I decided to ignore, and gave the snowman a tie with a bow.

BEN DOES THE SNOW

Ben's driveway was covered with snow,

Ben decided to give it a blow,

Ben is just a big slob,

He did one sloppy job,

Then he cleaned off the ice with a hoe.

THE SNOW IS WOE LIMERICK

I don't like November snow,

It traps my car, so I can't go,

Will I get food, I do not know,

The cold hurts, I feel woe,

I hired someone for a driveway blow.

22123

MY HEATER DID NOT SERVE ME WELL

I set my electric heater dial to toasty,

Took a long nap, and I woke up being roasty,

It was not my desire,

My shack catch on fire,

Seems my electric heater has made me a ghosty.

THE ICE SKATES OF DEATH

I got some new ice skates, and went out on the ice to skate,

I went out fifty feet, and fell through the ice on the lake,

Beneath the ice I couldn't swim,

Soon the lights were growing dim,

Then my clock alarm rang, and I was safe in bed, awake.

I'M ONLY ONE FINGERED IN TWO FINGERED BARS

I wanted just two fingers of whisky, but the frostbite took four,

I gave the bar keep the one finger, and he threw me out the door,

I laid in the snow bank,

Got taken to the drunk tank,

I know I only got the one finger, and I wish I had more.

I HAVE NO FRIGHT, EXCEPT FROSTBITE

I could not pay my gas bill for months, because those funds I lack,

I'm waiting for my kerosene heater to heat up my shack,

In a couple of more days,

I must heat in other ways, 

When my kerosene runs out, I'll suffer a frostbite attack.

WHEN THE SNOW BLOWS

When the snow blows and cold comes through your cracks,
You stuff newspaper in the holes to keep warm your shacks,
Shove up the stove with wood,
When it's red hot, it is good,
It is then time to wait 'till the frost bite attacks.

When the snow blows it makes hurt on my feet,
I run out of food and have nothing to eat,
And when the snow blows,
I'll have to cut off my toes,
But, at least I will have some fresh meat.

P020223

TRINA THE POND

Trina the snow-lady got hammered by storm,

It was blowy and snowy, real windy and warm,

Trina was no brainy,

And, when the snow became rainy,

Trina melted to water and showed her true form.

P113022

I

DAVE WALKED HOME IN THE SNOW STORM

The cold hit and hurt David's face,

Like a blast of cold bear mace,

His eyeballs got puckered,

Dave's bod ached, and was tuckered,

To get home, he had to pick up the pace.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHRISTMAS MARCHING BAND

The marching band marched down the street Christmas Day,

Along came a polar blast that blew them away,

Cold became their noses,

Then they froze in their poses,

Most were found two towns over, one sunny spring day.

THE WINTER APOCALYPSE HAS WINNERS

In the post-winter apocalypse the snowmen win,

They don't have to worry about frozen dead skin,

The whirlwinds of ice and snow,

Only makes the snowmen grow,

The snowmen hunt for humans for a frozen snowman din.

HUNTER MORTY FEEDS HIS HUN

Morty got a deer today, so now his hunting is done,

He packaged up his venison, and locked away his gun,

His freezer is full of venison and cherries,

Blue, and black and red raspberries,

And ten cases Ding Dongs, that he'll be sharing with his hun.

IT'S WARM UP IN JEB'S NOSE

There were some little creepy crawlers that lived between Jeb's toes,

When it got really cold out, some of the creepy crawlers froze,

They climbed clear up Jeb's legs, and back,

Then toward Jeb's face, they launched an attack,

And when the cold winds blew again, they warmed up in Jebies nose.

A BIG CAT BOUNCE

A great big snow tiger, chased frightened Santa in his sleigh,

The reindeer team had been drinking, and could not fly away,

When the big snow tiger pounced,

Off Santa's belly he bounced,

Into a train and Santa sang "Na, Na,Na, Na, Hey, Hey...".

THE ZOMBIE IN THE APPLE TREE II

There was a big zombie sitting in my apple tree,

Now, he is terrorising glass jars, in my pantry,

He's eating all the canned pears,

And, those canned diced, carrot squares,

I no longer need the stores, he ate my family.