MY HEATER DID NOT SERVE ME WELL

I set my electric heater dial to toasty,

Took a long nap, and I woke up being roasty,

It was not my desire,

My shack catch on fire,

Seems my electric heater has made me a ghosty.

LITTLE MEN WENT FISHING

Seven little men walked way out upon the frozen lake,

They had gone there to see how many fishies they could take,

Three of the men, they drowned,

Three more froze, searchers found,

The last little man went home, and had scrambled eggs and stake.

A SMOKER FIXES GAS LEAKS: WHAT COULD GO WRONG

My banana nut bread has been abruptly paused,

My cooking stove went out, and it was gas leak caused,

The gas leak fixer fella,

Smoked cigs, his nails were yella,

He lit a cigarette, now he's bandaged and gaused.

PLANET TERRA POX DEPARTED

Jack went to the planet Terra Pox, and Jack got very sick

I think it was the tasty lox, that laid Jack down so quick,

Jack's belly gurgled, and up sprayed green,

I think I saw a piece of spleen,

We put Jack's bod in a box, marked the grave with a bent stick.

THE WEATHER LIMERICK

In the mornings, it's been bone aching cold,

That makes me all grumpy, so I've been told,

But it does always warm,

Before a big lightning storm,

Then under the table, that's where I hold.

A BIG SQUIRRELY DECISION

I decided I was going out in the woods to hunt squirrel,

I took along with me my favorite hunting hound, Pearl,

But the squirrel was big and mean,

Ten foot tall, maybe 15,

We runs back to my old shack,  so we could hide and curl.

DEAR CAMP THREE (I'M LIP SMACKING GOOD)

I went to deer camp, and a cougar was there,

She ripped out my throat, and there was blood in the air,

I could not utter a word,

And, the last thing I heard,

Were kitty cougar smacking lips at the lair.

I MET A MONSTER AT THE BARE BEACH

I went to the beach, but nobody was there,

Except for a monster, looking vicious with scare,

I asked, "where'd everyone go?"

The monster replied, "I don't know!

I ate all swimmers, that's why the beach is so bare"

SAMMY WORKED ON TEETH, RIP

Sammy use to work on teeth,

Until he married his best friend, Keith,

They honeymoon-snorkeled a coral reef,

While snacking on a can of beef,

Till a great white shark hauled them beneath.

I BLOG THEN WALK MY DOG

I was a little blogger blogging on my blog,

Then I went a walking with my cocker spaniel dog,

We walked the forest late last night,

Until a bear gave us each a bite,

Now we rest in bear scat; each of us a big brown log.

RUN AWAY, CLIMB AWAY, BE A COWARD AND LIVE TODAY

Always a coward, I turn and I run,

I feel seeking pain is sick minded, not fun,

With a tiger frontal attack,

And, vicious bears at my back,

I reach for  branches to climb, not a gun.