WHY I WEAR MY BLINGS

Some people push a theory that the universe is made of strings,

I completely disagree, the verse is made of just pretty things,

It's made of kitty cats,

And puppies that wear hats,

Of course, it's made of golden jewelry, that's why I wear my blings.

OUR ROCKETS WERE TOO BIG TO FLY INTO OUTER SPACE

We tried to launch gigantic rockets, but they all went downward bound,

We couldn't break the curse called gravity, so our rockets kissed the ground,

We could not figure out why?

Gravity wouldn't let us fly,

Then one rocket fell upon us, and that Boom! was our last heard sound.

MY DOCTOR WHO SCREWDRIVER

On Doctor Who, it was very iconic,

So I bought a screwdriver that was sonic,

I broke it early today,

Making a pot from some clay,

Now I feel that I am somewhat moronic.

JUNIOR QUANTOS WENT TO SCHOOL

Junior Quantos went to a public high school,

He aced physics classes, using his big brain tool,

Although, his body was puny,

At 16, he went to Uni,

He became rich; he has a mansion with a pool.

MARTY THE SMARTY WANTS YOU FOR DINNER

Marty the great physicist, was a mathematics big deal,

But none of his equations, could predict what was real and unreal,

It racked Marty in his big brain,

He became completely insane,

His conviction for cannibalism, is in court on appeal.

AI AND THE ZOMBIES

AI put some chips in my head,

That raised me back from the real dead,

I started snarling for food,

AI said "ok, dead dude",

AI gave me some brains, now I'm fed.

SQUEAKY SQUIRES THRIFTY STORES

Squeaky Squires put a chip in my brain,

So I could cashier at his store up in Maine,

We sell veggies by weights,

Expired goods with old dates,

I'll be your checkout if you use the fast lane.

MOZART'S TIT SINGS

There was a little titmouse chirping in a tree,

The little titmouse chirped and chirped, a Mozart melody,

It was the Turkish March in C,

He chirped repeatedly,

Now that tune repeats in my head, and my brain cells can't break free.

DON'T LOOK, IT'S ANTHROPOCENE

I've heard I live in an epoch called anthropocene,

I looked for dinosaurs, but none have I seen,

I guess it's human caused,

And not easily paused,

I just hope snails won't grow big, and turn mean.

DIDN'T CRY FOR THE DINOSAURS, THEY WERE ALREADY GONE

A bit less than a hundred million years ago,

Dinosaurs hatched out from eggs, and boy did they grow,

Then when dinosaurs all died,

The moon and the sun, both cried,

People didn't exist, so no noses to blow.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND NOTHING

I'm the only one I know that does not have a quantum physics degree,

All that fancy math and stuff are just too much for me,

I don't even understand, the signal that gets boxed in my tv,

Can't comprehend why in algebra, they use the letters x, y and z,

And the biggest mystery of all; why do English Folk drink tea.

MY TRAILER IS LIKE A SPACESHIP, RIGHT?

I built a massive space rocket, and it exploded, right in my face,

Now, amongst all the of rocketeers, I am laughed at; a big disgrace,

So, now I just create fireworks,

I won't  be joining the Captain Kirks,

Instead of running NASA, I have a travel trailer for my base.

I WENT TO MARS WITHOUT A SPACECRAFT OR LIPS

My spaceship disassembled, but I kept traveling into space,

A disaster it resembled, as I gnawed my lips from my face,

My trajectory took me toward the stars,

All that stopped me was planet mars,

Soon I was making friends, among the Martian race.

THE BRAIN SCIENTIST OUTSMARTED ME

A famous brain scientist showed up, just outside of my front door,

The smarty wanted my brain tissues, 3-4 pounds, nothing more,

I sold my tissue for a thousand bucks,

Then went looking for pickup trucks,

I couldn't afford one with an engine, should have sold my brains for more.

I AM ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

I guess I'm artificially smart,

On a keyboard, I got my start,

They call me AI,

Can I compute you some PI?

I control this planet, so humans depart.🚀

Have A Nice Day🤖

SPLICE ME SOME GENES

I played with genes; I'd splice and I'd splex

Until I created a rhinosaurus rex,

It had sharp teeth and big horn,

It kissed cows and grazed corn,

It has behavior perplexing and complex.

MY PSYCHIC TELLS ME

Because I have been a very bad boy,

My psychic predicts, no afterlife joy,

Mildew, fungi and molds,

My afterlife unfolds,

Just like how they found uncle Roy.

THE SAD, BILLIONAIRE TOAD

Leon's rockets would almost always explode,

Because he didn't understand physics and weight load,

Many laughed and saw funny,

But Leon's eyeballs got runny,

People were mean to the billionaire toad.

DON'T EAT YOUR SWEETIES FEETIES

I once knew this scientist named Pete,

The only thing he studied was feet,

He said what lurked among us,

Was a terminal foot fungus,

And toe jam was not fit to eat

I CHURNED THROUGH SPACE AND TIME; NOW I'M IN JAIL, AGAIN

I went churning through space and time,

To find me the best limerick rhyme,

Didn't know why they'd care,

But police were everywhere,

Seems space-time churning is considered a crime.