AI IS TOO HUMAN

My home has been invaded by pesky, AI bots,

They insist on urinating in my flower pots,

And, whoever knew?

AI bots had to poo,

So, I send them outside to neighborhood, vacant lots.

MARS? DON'T GO THERE

I traveled to Mars, and there wasn't much scenery there,

Just a sickly coconut tree and a small koala bear,

No place good to eat,

No one served fresh meat,

There was a cheap, beauty shop, where they washed and permed my hair.

TOTALITARIAN SCIENCE FOR KIDS

My new teacher told me, the earth is flat and not round,

He said that is what long ago, our spaceships all found,

I told him that I would disagree,

The principal, I was sent to see,

I was afraid, confused, and my heart started to pound.

SCHRODINGER'S CAT UNBOXED

My friend Schrodinger, could not find his son's, dead cat,

It was not in the box, where it should of been at,

The mystery did grow,

Then we spied my son, Moe,

With a cat tail hanging from his mouth, what a brat.

BAD PIG DIDN'T FLY, DIDN'T TRY

I had my pig and thought I'd experiment, try,

To get my pig to become airborne, and to fly,

I hauled my pig up a tall tree,

Before I shoved him, he shoved me,

When I hit down on the ground, I began to cry.

IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, OUCH!🚀

It came from outer space, and it stuck me with it's sharp pickers,

It stabbed my pretty face, so I was quick to become sickers,

Within the hour,

I felt the power,

I went Martian, and started to stick people with my stickers.

BACTERIA HEAD

My brain is not at all a normal human brain,

It is made up of bacteria, that's not sane,

I'm called Bacteria Head,

Because my old brain is dead,

Out of my nose, I had a serious brain drain.

THE HOT PRAWN FROM OUTER SPACE

Big Bang Berry, is the hot prawn from outer space,

If you get him mad, he'll breath fire in your face,

He's from the celestial bang,

Part of the evil demon gang,

He's come to earth, and will destroy the human race.

                             HAPPY NEW YEAR

                                         2025

WHY I WEAR MY BLINGS

Some people push a theory that the universe is made of strings,

I completely disagree, the verse is made of just pretty things,

It's made of kitty cats,

And puppies that wear hats,

Of course, it's made of golden jewelry, that's why I wear my blings.

OUR ROCKETS WERE TOO BIG TO FLY INTO OUTER SPACE

We tried to launch gigantic rockets, but they all went downward bound,

We couldn't break the curse called gravity, so our rockets kissed the ground,

We could not figure out why?

Gravity wouldn't let us fly,

Then one rocket fell upon us, and that Boom! was our last heard sound.

MY DOCTOR WHO SCREWDRIVER

On Doctor Who, it was very iconic,

So I bought a screwdriver that was sonic,

I broke it early today,

Making a pot from some clay,

Now I feel that I am somewhat moronic.

JUNIOR QUANTOS WENT TO SCHOOL

Junior Quantos went to a public high school,

He aced physics classes, using his big brain tool,

Although, his body was puny,

At 16, he went to Uni,

He became rich; he has a mansion with a pool.

MARTY THE SMARTY WANTS YOU FOR DINNER

Marty the great physicist, was a mathematics big deal,

But none of his equations, could predict what was real and unreal,

It racked Marty in his big brain,

He became completely insane,

His conviction for cannibalism, is in court on appeal.

AI AND THE ZOMBIES

AI put some chips in my head,

That raised me back from the real dead,

I started snarling for food,

AI said "ok, dead dude",

AI gave me some brains, now I'm fed.

SQUEAKY SQUIRES THRIFTY STORES

Squeaky Squires put a chip in my brain,

So I could cashier at his store up in Maine,

We sell veggies by weights,

Expired goods with old dates,

I'll be your checkout if you use the fast lane.

MOZART'S TIT SINGS

There was a little titmouse chirping in a tree,

The little titmouse chirped and chirped, a Mozart melody,

It was the Turkish March in C,

He chirped repeatedly,

Now that tune repeats in my head, and my brain cells can't break free.

DON'T LOOK, IT'S ANTHROPOCENE

I've heard I live in an epoch called anthropocene,

I looked for dinosaurs, but none have I seen,

I guess it's human caused,

And not easily paused,

I just hope snails won't grow big, and turn mean.

DIDN'T CRY FOR THE DINOSAURS, THEY WERE ALREADY GONE

A bit less than a hundred million years ago,

Dinosaurs hatched out from eggs, and boy did they grow,

Then when dinosaurs all died,

The moon and the sun, both cried,

People didn't exist, so no noses to blow.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND NOTHING

I'm the only one I know that does not have a quantum physics degree,

All that fancy math and stuff are just too much for me,

I don't even understand, the signal that gets boxed in my tv,

Can't comprehend why in algebra, they use the letters x, y and z,

And the biggest mystery of all; why do English Folk drink tea.

MY TRAILER IS LIKE A SPACESHIP, RIGHT?

I built a massive space rocket, and it exploded, right in my face,

Now, amongst all the of rocketeers, I am laughed at; a big disgrace,

So, now I just create fireworks,

I won't  be joining the Captain Kirks,

Instead of running NASA, I have a travel trailer for my base.