TRINA TOOK THE CHRISTMAS TRAIN

Trina boarded the Christmas train to the big town of Kalamazoo,

Once there, Trina went Christmas thrifting, buying cheap trinkets that were blue,

Bought a cheap trinket for ma,

Bought a cheap trinket for pa,

Trina had some pennies left, so grandma got a cheap, blue trinket, too.

MEAT AFFORDABILITY.

I went to buy some fresh, lean beef, but the price was just too high,

I went to buy some deli ham, but the pig price made me cry.

I wanted to buy some fresh fish,

The high price belated my wish,

I tried to buy some turkey, but my credit card said "DENY".  

I EAT NO PEACHES

I was hungry for peaches, so I went to the grocery store,

The store didn't have any peaches, because they were needed for war,

I did not know what that meant,

I gave the manager, my vent,

My big vent made me very tired, so I went home for a snore.

DID THE DRINK KILL ME, OR MAKE ME LOOK COOL

I went to the local grocery store, and bought a markdown, specialty drink,

It was full of caffeine, and tasted like a chemical from under the sink,

It turned my hair green,

It sickened my spleen,

I seemed to drip a big purple tear, whenever my eye would do a quick blink.

MY EASTER HOLIDAY SHOPPING SPREE

I went to the local grocery store, and I bought some greens,

I bought some pork chop pork meat as a treat, and dish soap that cleans,

I bought a pound of Easter peeps,

Canned fish, that keeps,

I bought a variety of dried goods, mostly I bought beans.

FROZEN PIG FUTURES

It got so dog gone cold, my pigs all froze,

I sold them all before, the market close,

Just a pound and a pee,

Was the price they gave me,

Enough for a pint, and socks for my toes.

SOME CALL IT SHOPLIFTING, I CALL IT TAKING SAMPLES

I slow rode my crooked broomstick to the store, 

I'm a witch, who likes to sweep the floor,

I try the ripe, fresh fruit,

And, vegetable root,

I sample the hotdogs, then sail out the door.

THE GEEK WHO WENT TO CREEK

In the Michigan city, called Battle Creek,

I went to a thrift store and bought an antique,

A cute porcelain bear,

With ginger colored hair,

When I took it home, my kids called me a geek.

THE WEREWOLF AND THE BACK BACON

I walked into the butcher shop, and found a dire werewolf, lurking the store,

He had eaten all the butchers and clerks, and the old guy who sweep/mops the floor,

I asked the creature if it was taken?

I meant the last three pounds of back bacon?

The werewolf just looked and growled at me, as I removed the bacon out the door.

T. P. TAYLOR BOUGHT NEW SHOES

T. P. Taylor bought some screaming, pretty blue shoes, 

It was important stuff, was on the nightly news,

The shoes were from the mall,

They were way, way too small,

Taylor asked for a refund, but got a refuse.

THE TRINKET POEM II

I went buying trinkets with my little sister Sue,

We could have bought a car with all the money we blew,

We stopped for burgers and fries,

It took a couple of tries,

They gave me a ketchup packet, with an extra two.

THE TRINKET POEM

I went to the dollar store, and bought some trinkets, on sale.

Ten little tin milk maidens, each carrying a tin pail,

I took my trinkets home,

Wrote this trinket poem,

I'll next eat a little salad made lettuce and kale.

SANTA AND HIS LIFE OF CRIME

Santa has many presents to get, and Tuesday is Christmas Day,

So Santa went down to the mall, and quickly loaded up his sleigh,

This year Santa's funds are running low,

His reindeer meat sales are really slow,

At the Mall Santa got picked up by cops, because he failed to pay.

BLACK FRIDAY IS BETTER WHEN THE ECONOMY STINKS

I only spent $4.00 for tuna, and it got me ten cans,

Better Black Friday deal, than when I bought nine sets of fry pans,

When poverty is in the air,

You get these great deals, from despair,

For half price, I can buy summer makeup, the kind that makes tans.

THE DELIVERY SNAIL

I decided to buy a new front door,

But, it's too far to the nearest door store,

I bought a door through the mail,

It was delivered by snail,

And boy, was that little snail feeling soar.

SOY IS SO RICH, YET IT MAKES ME SO POOR

I went down the road to the store, to get me some soy,

I found lots of products, making me one happy boy,

I found soy that was gooey,

And soy nuts that were chewy,

And the price that I paid, filled the owner with joy.

THE RED DRAGON EATS...

I am the Red Dragon and I like to roar,

I got to eat people, nothing good at the store,

I tried some cheese,

But it made me sneeze,

It's tasty people flesh, I adore.

MABEL HAD NO MAKEUP

Mabel had no Maybelline,

Even though, she had washed up clean,

With her friend Loren,

They went out to buy corn,

Couldn't buy steaks; their funds were lean.

"I HAVE TRINKETS FOR SALE, BEEP BEEP"

I bought a box of trinkets, cheap,

I bought them from a a trinkets creep,

His voice was all nasal,

His breath smelled of witch hazel,

He ended every sentence with "beep, beep".

JENNY LIKED TO SHOP WITH THRIFT-Limerick

Jenny liked to shop with great thrift,
She spent just a penny for a gift,
But, on gifts she received,
She really got peeved,
Under ten bucks she felt she was stiffed.