LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Farm
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
Farm
.
Show all posts
Friday, February 23, 2024
JIMMY GOES POOF
Some long icicles fell off the barn roof,
They knocked poor Jimmy off of his tall hoof,
Jimmy needed a warm fire,
So he lit up a truck tire,
Jimmy was too close, and Jimmy went poof.
Wednesday, February 21, 2024
STARTING PLANTS INDOORS
I bought a bag of potting soil to start pepper plants inside,
I grow amazing, pretty pepper plants that are my joy and pride,
I transplant them to pots on my deck,
I grow amazing peppers by the peck,
I feed them to my pigs and chickens, and so far, none of them have died.
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
THE LURKING COYOTE AND PAUL
There's a coyote lurking in my barn,
He ate a very skinny rat, oh darn,
The rat was called Paul,
He lived in a stall,
Paul made a nest for his babies, with yarn.
Monday, January 29, 2024
THE FOX AND THE DIRTY DEEDS
My four hens were out pecking at sunflower seeds,
Then along came a fox, and he did four dirty deeds,
I had no eggs the next morn,
Just four kernels of stale corn,
I filled up my belly on coffee and weeds.
Wednesday, January 17, 2024
MY GREAT BIG DINOSAUR II
I put my new pet dinosaur, outdoors with my pigs,
I figured they could share their muddy, fecal digs,
Found out dinos love their ham,
Mine ate every pig, but Sam,
Sam smelled really bad, because he ate only pickled figs.
Wednesday, November 29, 2023
THE CHOICES FOR GOAT: CHEESE OR A COAT
I like goat cheese so much that I got me a goat,
He chewed a hole in my tin boat, now it don't float,
He's eyeing my new truck,
But he is out of luck,
I like the feel of leather, and I need a new coat.
Tuesday, November 28, 2023
PIGS AND RHUBARB PIE
Someone mean hurt my pigs, when they fed them rhubarb pie,
Their bellies swelled up so much, it made my pigs all cry,
I pilled each pig with anti-gas,
Within a minute, their pain did pass,
I'll find out who hurt my pigs, and then I'll ask them why.
Friday, November 3, 2023
SPEEDY AND THE THREE BEARS
Three bears took over my chicken coup, and boy were they greedy,
They ate all my chickens, except one real old hen, named Speedy,
With Speedy as the three bears pet,
They settled in, they were all set,
The bears all loved their pet; they were emotionally needy.
Tuesday, October 24, 2023
MY LITTLE RED GOAT
My favorite pet was a little red goat,
The only thing that she would eat was red coat,
She would eat mink, wool or leather,
But she would never taste pleather,
Pleather gave her bubble gas, and she would bloat,
Friday, October 20, 2023
BARN OWL BEAU AND THE BANSHE
In Freeland, there once was a barn owl, named Beau,
In the hen house, Beau saw a banshee named Coe,
Coe had an egg thieving plot,
But the barn owl, thought not,
So Beau bit off a banshe nose and big toe.
Friday, October 13, 2023
NOBILITY, WORMS AND SQUIRMS
Oh, the noble chicken reigns, over the bugs and worms,
And, all creatures in the chicken coup, with the chicken, come to terms,
For the chicken, it can eat ya,
In a battle, it will defeat ya,
But, then here comes the fox, and in it's mouth the chicken squirms.
Sunday, September 17, 2023
A RECKONING FOR THE PIGS
The pigs chased all the hens out of the chicken coup,
The pigs ate all the eggs, then made chicken nest soup,
The poor chickens were really sad,
Because the pigs behaved so bad,
So the farmer short chained the pigs, to his back stoop.
Saturday, September 2, 2023
SOME CRITTERS SHOULD NOT WRITE LIMERICKS
I had a pretty peacock named Homer,
Around the old farm, he was a roamer,
On one far distant, roaming prance,
Homer met a vowel, named Lance,
Together, they wrote this gosh, awful poemer.
Sunday, August 27, 2023
A GOAT STORY
I know an old gruffy goat, named Herb,
He chews gravel out next to the curb,
Other roughage he avoids,
Because of hemorrhoids,
Which gravel doesn't seem to disturb.
Friday, August 25, 2023
CYRUS
Cyrus was the master of training productive pigs,
Cyrus trained pigs to replace people, driving big rigs,
Cyrus made enough money,
To marry his honey,
Cyrus now lives a life without good porn, booze or cigs.
82523
Saturday, August 19, 2023
ELMER USED HIS STOOP
Crazy Elmer had no roof, to keep his chickens warm and cozy,
Then every time the winter came, his poor chickens all got frozey,
So Elmer took the wood from his stoop,
Then built a roof on his chicken coup,
His home was never quite the same, and he was left by his wife, Rosey.
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
THE BEAR IN THE BARN WAS WAITING FOR ME
I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find,
A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind,
He waited there just for me,
He poured two cups of coffee,
We chatted and had a chance to unwind.
WINNERS AND LOSERS OF THE WOODCHUCK CIVIL WAR
The two woodchucks and me, fought a battle in a great civil war,
We did coexist together on a farm, but not any more,
They ate all my grown food,
I became one skinny dude,
After the fight, I moved into a box, outside the one dollar store.
Tuesday, August 8, 2023
APPLES IS FOR PIGS, PIGS IS FOR DINOSAURS
My dinosaur was accused of eating the neighbor's apple pie,
But, my dinosaur is a carnivore, and eating fruit ain't fly,
Now my dino sits in jail,
I got no money for his bail,
I hope they feed him lots of pigs, without pig meat he will cry.
Thursday, August 3, 2023
PET FOOD
I had a pet pheasant named Manzy,
She laid eggs for my fry panzy,
When she found out what I did,
Her eggs she done hid,
But, roast pheasnt, I am big fanzy.
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