THE CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE

I invested $15.00 in crypto this morning, by noon,  I was a millionaire,

Mama told me I was crazy, and of crypto money, I had better beware,

By next week my one million,

Will turn into a billion,

Then I'll move out of mama's basement into a mansion, I'm just not sure quite where.

DON'T INVEST WITH PERKY PAUL

Perky Paul had pretty, blue eyes,

All believed him, when he told lies,

Perky Paul, 

Had a margin call,

His investors went broke, because they weren't wise.

I FLOCKED MY GRANDFATHER CLOCK, AN INVESTMENT POEM

I was at the end of my dock,

When I knocked over my grandfather clock,

It feel on some ducks in a flock,

They climbed up onto a rock,

And sang a chorus of Bach,

It was me they were trying to mock,

So I went home and did a short sale of stock.

EATING RAW FUNGI AND CAPITAL GAINS

I ate raw fungi and it ate my brains,

I no longer functioned and felt aches and pains,

I bottled the stuff,

Claimed it made people look buff,

Sold my business to Wall Street for capital gains.