I'M ONLY ONE FINGERED IN TWO FINGERED BARS

I wanted just two fingers of whisky, but the frostbite took four,

I gave the bar keep the one finger, and he threw me out the door,

I laid in the snow bank,

Got taken to the drunk tank,

I know I only got the one finger, and I wish I had more.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SATURDAY?

Some weekends I lose my Saturday, like it's zero seconds long,

Sometimes I go out Friday night, and things just go real wrong,

It starts off with the dancing,

Jerky movements, and some prancing,

Then I wakeup Sunday morning, as the church bell go ding dong.