GROUNDHOGS, AIN'T JUST FOR WEATHER PREDICTING

I parboil ground hog,  to make them nice and tender,

I eat too much ground hog, that is why I ain't too slender,

I deliver the ground hog meals,

To old people, from my own wheels,

For those who can't chew, I grind ground hog in a blender.

PHIL, THE GROUNDHOG IS DEAD

The chunky groundhog was attacked by a hawk,

As the big hawk ate him, she went squawk, squawk, Squawk,

His real name in life, was Phil,

He took a blood pressure pill,

I'll miss his never, ever ending, small talk.

THE MONTH OF APRIL

If you live where there is no snow,

April is when your plants will grow

The baby deer falls from the doe,

You won't need socks to warm your toe,

You shelve long books, like Ivanhoe.

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KITE ON A WIRE

I went outside to fly my brand new red kite,

It kept crashing, because it was so darn light,

I flew it on a wire,

Lightning struck, it taught fire,

My tennis shoes melted, and now they're too tight.

MY FLOWER GARDEN SONG

My arbutus looks so very pretty,

Sitting in my garden in mid-city,

Then there is my daisy,

All flopped over crazy,

Then there is rose, my prickly old bitty.   

MY BIRD SONG

Many birds are here this spring,

Doing their tweet and pecking thing,

Building nests beneath roofs, in trees,

All busy parents the shes and hes,

Seeds and bugs to their young they bring,

And, joy to the babies moms and daddies sing.

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LAMENT FOR THE BABY PLANT

My tomato plant did not get very tall,

It was fine, until we had the snow squall

It would of had a life of green,

If the warm sun it had seen,

Poor thing, almost had no life at all.

SPRING

Cold rainy weather makes us feel pain called, the cruds,

The arthritis pain, we fight with the suds,

We want mosquitos to bite,

To take our minds off our plight

While spring blooms bust out of their buds.

WHEN NEW LIFE FINDS A WAY, I FIND A FLY SWATTER

The first flies of spring were busy buzzing at my door,

Then, I tapped them with a fly swatter and, they went straight down to the floor,

It seems like every spring, 

I am killing everything,

Spring is when new life unfolds then, on new life I wage a war.

CELEBRATE SPRING'S BIRTH DAY, NOT BIRTHDAY

I love the birth day of the spring,

It lures me to both jig and sing,

But the snow,

It did not go,

It's kinda a loose string.

FINALLY A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE

When there's big sunshine,

I feel warm, fine,

Fresh air with a whiff of pine,

I own the day; it's mine,

On the back porch I will wine and dine.

Dave's Daylight Savings Time Outfit

Dave just had to start golfing, now that days have gone long,

He was all fitted up with new golf shoes and golf thong,

Not to be mean,

But out on the green,

The thong just kinda looked wrong.

THE GOVERNMENT IS TAKING MY SLEEP AWAY

The authorities are demanding, I give up one hour of sleep,

But I'm thinking, that maybe, that sleep I should keep,

Daylight Savings Time,

Is a humanitarian crime,

Those who agree, honk your horn and go "Beep!"

MAY

In May the seedlings upward sputter,

Above the bugs with wings, go flutter,

In the trees,

Peep open leaves,

On golf ball grass, I puts my putter.

THE ANGELS OF HO

Back in the season of Ho, Ho, Ho,

I made some angels in the snow,

Now spring is here,

My angels disappear,

Wherever they've gone I don't know.

WORM MOON

There was the big old Worm Moon hanging in the sky,

From above my head to the horizon, the little stars would fly,

There the Worm Moon stood as the winter waned,

All dark dimpled, its surface stained,

Till from the edge of the earth the daylights pry.

A CRUSH ON SPRINGY FLOWERS

When the springy spring flowers flower,

Then we get a big snow shower,

The frosty frost shows off it's power,

And, little petals fade and cower,

Crushed beneath the shower tower.

THE SPRING OF DECAY

Spring is here and there's mold on my bread,

The flies are breeding, maggots are fat and well fed,

My food all rots away,

It's all in a state of decay,

At least the food I found under my bed.

DECISION REGARDING STUCK

In my driveway of ice and clay,

My little car got stuck today,🚙

I have no road service so, there it stay,

At least until the month of May,

That's when the ice will melt away,

And, the ground firms and tires obey,

Backup, go forward, either is o.k.,🔄

But, I don't like the long delay,

I might want to travel, who can say?

I've decided right now, out of pocket I'll pay.💰💰💰💰💰

SORRY MA, IT'S SNOWING

Oh great polar vortex that comes in May,

That shuts down beach fun and ends spring play,

The cold has had a long run,

Why can't winter be done?

Instead, we're getting a wet, heavy snow Mother's Day.