GROUNDHOGS, AIN'T JUST FOR WEATHER PREDICTING

I parboil ground hog,  to make them nice and tender,

I eat too much ground hog, that is why I ain't too slender,

I deliver the ground hog meals,

To old people, from my own wheels,

For those who can't chew, I grind ground hog in a blender.

FROSTBITE, SCENT AND ROSES

Everyone in my town, has had severe frostbite of the nose,

They all had their snoggers cut off, before their high school picture pose,

Town folk aren't very nosey,

But, we still sniff the rosey,

We also, have problems standing, because the-cold bite takes our toes.

IT WAS EAR POPPING COLD

After Benny played outside in the cold snow,

His nose got so stuffed up, Benny could not blow,

The blowback popped his ears,

Then he shed many tears,

As off to the hospital, he had to go.

FACE ICE

I slipped on some black ice and fell on my pretty face,

My face got deep, dark scratches, and I got a neck brace,

So be careful out there,

For the ice does not care,

If you're a nice puppy, or a psychotic nut case.

THE TREE TRIMMER AND THE BEAR

Before the snow and the frosty freeze,

I went out to trim my apple trees,

My face felt fast breezed,

I hiccuped and sneezed,

The bear came out to feel my unease.

VORTEX-COLD

I got polar vortexed, and it really didn't feel, very good,

I used all my tanked propane, and burned every stick of wood,

It froze hairs, and the attached skin,

Froze my soups, preserved in cheap tin,

I can't walk through a polar vort, even with my fluffy hood.

SOLSTICE

I only get it once a year,

The winter solstice, lets be clear,

It's a cold night,

Warm clothes are tight,

Then at midnight, we raise a beer.

DECEMBER: COLD, DEATH AND PAIN

December days are too many, black, cold and very long,

The spirit who designed December, was in the head, wrong, 

It's painfully chilly,

Fast froze my dog, Willy,

Each December remembered, with a dark dirge for its song.

WINTER DEAD

We all hope that enough winter nuts, we have now, squirreled,

As the dark, bleak drapes of winter, cover our new world,

And, ode to the snow, white,

Covering the dead fall, blight,

While we hold close our others, under blankets, half furled.

I'M NOT READY FOR WINTER

The cold winter wind blows, then repeats,

It's winter, and I have no blankets or sheets,

Deliveries are at a stop,

Even for my dear, soda pop,

And of course, I need a new furnace that heats.

Today is known as November One,

It's real cold, and there ain't much for sun,

In the pie pumpkin patch,

Pumpkins ready to hatch,

I'll freeze their guts, then the patch is done.

POST SUMMER

The green leaves are all dying to brown, the skies are gray,

The summer has passed, and for those fine times we will pay,

In this technical fall,

Early winter will call,

Now great oar faring ships, are winter parked in the bay.

HUMANS TAUGHT THE SQUIRRELS A BAD HABBIT

Serious squirrels love their found, big cigarette butts,

Squirrels store found butts away, as if they were nuts,

In winter it snows and blows,

Nicotine bests such bad woes,

Squirrels learned this from the humans; they live in huts.

LITTLE PETUNIA

Little Petunia grew by the sea,

Little Petunia popped flowers for me,

Then in the fall,

There were no flowers at all,

Little Petunia just ceased to be.

HEATWAVE

It is so very, very hot,

Steamy, is the texture of snot,

And, goodness knows,

The heatwave grows,

Water's gone, and the food is rot.

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THE MONTH OF APRIL

If you live where there is no snow,

April is when your plants will grow

The baby deer falls from the doe,

You won't need socks to warm your toe,

You shelve long books, like Ivanhoe.

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THEFT OF THE SNOW CABIN

I went to the woods, bought a quaint cabin, made out of snow,

So in the summer, I would have a fancy place to go,

On one hot summer day,

I got off, and away,

My quaint cabin was stolen, and I had lost all my doe.

THE JANUARY WOLF MOON

When the Wolf Moon rises,

There be terror surprises,

The hooting owl,

The wolf howl,

Most dangerous, friendly disguises.

WILLIE THE SUNFISH WANTS A PRESENT

Willie the sunfish, sent Santa a list,

Willie wanted most a watch for the wrist,

Jolly Santa wrote to Willy,

Told Willy he was silly,

But, Santa said Willie will get one, if he shows Santa a fist.

SEASONS FREEZE

When the winter cold, frostbites the frail bones,

And makes fingers ache, that tap on iPhones,

When a missed homeward ride,

Means a slow walk outside,

And one sleepless night of coughing and moans.