THE HUNTER AND THE GATHERER.

I went blackberry picking, and dropped a blackberry upon the ground,

I bent over to pick up the berry, and heard a bear growling sound,

I screamed loud, and then got mauled,

For help, I forever called,

Then the bad bear bit into my bloodied arm, and dragged me all around.

STUPID INVADERS FROM SPACE PART TWO

Invaders from space cut and laid massive stone blocks,

They stacked them real high, like a toddler stacks toy blocks,

Traveled billions of miles in space,

They were so stupid in this case,

I showed them rebar and concrete on some Tic Toks.

THE KILLER PUMPKIN AND THE MINNOWS

I saw a giant pumpkin, eating a fisherman, by the sea,

The fisherman had a minnow bucket, so I set the minnows free,

I decided to roast the pumpkin, thought it'd taste good with my tea,

But, all I had to flavor the pumpkin, was a half jar of suspect ghee,

I should of kept the minnows, because they might have been tasty. 

LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR

My neighbor weaponized my shovel, and attacked some small ants,

The ants were little red biters, and ran up my neighbor's pants,

Like a bloody, daft fool,

He jumped into my pool,

After my neighbor's rescue, I lectured him on cans and can'ts.  

THE ZOMBIE IN THE APPLE TREE II

There was a big zombie sitting in my apple tree,

Now, he is terrorising glass jars, in my pantry,

He's eating all the canned pears,

And, those canned diced, carrot squares,

I no longer need the stores, he ate my family.

FROGS FROM BOGS AND WILD DOGS

I came upon some smelly, white spotted frogs,

They smelled bad, because they lived in the low bogs,

I gave one a slight touch,

But, it was still, too much,

I was poisoned dead, then ate by feral dogs.

ZOMBIES ON THE FOURTH

The zombies attacked on the 4th Of July,

They ate my best friends, Herbie and Guy,

Then the rocket glared,

The zombies got scarred,

And I ate burgers, and finished with pie.

BEWARE THE FERAL DOG

There are feral dogs out in the dark,

I know they're there because I hear them bark,

When they bite it's an ouch,

A month to recover on the couch,

If your throat they nip, then it's cemetery park.

MOSQUITOS TAKE MORE THAN BLOOD

Meanie mosquitos, they done ate off my arms,

Then when I looked for my legs, that set off alarms,

My legs were in mosquito guts,

I was going really nuts,

No more camping, I'll stay on the farms.

BIGFOOT ATE MY BABIES AND MY MATE

A Bigfoot made a nest in the barn on my farm,

I did not believe it would cause any harm,

But when the Bigfoot eggs hatched out,

There were little Bigfoots all about,

When they ate the family that was cause for alarm.

MAYBE IT'S THE BOOGEYMAN?

As I laid upon my bed,

Someone painted my toenails red,

Did some elf play a part?

Or, a troll's expression of art?  

Maybe it's the boogeyman trying to get inside my head?

DEEP IN THE FOREST I SAT

Deep in the forest was where I sat,

I had been ate by a bear and that was that,

I was now just a big pile of wet bear scat,

The bear had piled me tall because I was real fat,

Soon to be absorbed by the thick forest mat.