THE DAM THAT BURST

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim,

Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim,

The log cabin fell apart,

Nothing left for a restart,

No sports cards were recovered, and neither was my spider, Jim.

Martian Drones Are Here Shopping For Christmas🎄🎁

There was a mystery drone that landed on my trailer house,

The drone crushed in the roof a bit, and caused an "eek!", from a mouse,

I snuck outside for a peek,

The drone was taking a leak,

The drone said it was shopping for a Christmas gift, a blouse.

BEN, EMPATHY AND SPACE INVADERS CAME

Ben climbed up to the top of a mountain, to look down on the city,

Ben was excited to watch off-world drones, attack without pity,

Where those drones attacked,

Skyscrapers got whacked,

A fireworks factory got hit, and that explosion was pretty.

HOLIDAY ANXIETY, SENT ME TO THE NOOK.

I made out all my Christmas cards, but I could not find my address book,

I thought of where it could be, but it wasn't there when I took a look,

My anxiety got so severe,

I smashed a little, plastic reindeer,

Then I went down to the old pub, and sat all by myself in the nook.  

I GET EVEN WITH GUPPIES

I was raising expensive little corals in my guppy, fishy tank, 

I wanted to sell corals for money, and put the money in the bank,   

But, those crazy, guppy fish,

Ate my corals, for nutrish,  

I put in the guppy tank a piranha, and his name is Hungry Hank.

GUPPY JERKY

My fish tank was so full of guppies, they flopped onto the floor,

They'd dry and my kitty would eat them, then looked around for more,

The guppies dried; became jerky,

A chewy husk that was quirky,

I started selling jerked guppies, on all of my online stores.

NO PEAS, WATER AND BARLEY FOR FARLEY

My newest, best friend, Giggles Farley, 

Many claimed, he liked to make parlay,

But, he wouldn't speak,

Wouldn't open his beak,

He missed getting pea soup with barley.

DOLPH, THE SHINY TAILED REINDEER

Dolph, the sleigh bell, Santa reindeer, had a big, shiny tail,

You could see him flying through snowstorms, and rainstorms with hail,

On coco, Dolph, was wired,

So, Dolph, never got tired,

Dolph, led Santa's sleigh, after his red nosed father, expired.

READY FOR SANTA

I decorated with lights, that make twinkles

I made sugar cookies, and added sprinkles,

I hung up my longest, clean stocking,

Put Teddy in the chair, that's rocking,

Made a path to the bath, for Santa's tinkles.

EXTREME COLD: MICHIGAN, THE FREEZER STATE

I ran into my Uncle Karl, who lives down in the del,

By the size of his stomach, I knew that Karl wintered well,

Taters and fried cakes,

Is just what it takes,

To survive winters in Michigan, if that is where you dwell.

DRONES OVER THE TRAILER PARK

My trailer park is being overrun by flying drones,

The flying drones interfere with our functioning cell phones,

Our TVs have gone hush,

Our full toilets, won't flush,

And, drone ray guns burn the flesh off our bones.

LEAVING TOWN

In my public hanging, I was gallows, displayed,

Fortuitous, I had a knife with a sharp blade,

With death, I could not coupe,

So, I cut my neck rope,

I rode out of town, leading a soldier's parade.

DIRTY DISHES, LOCKED IN

I had lots of dirty dishes to do, and I locked in,

There were so many dishes, it could have been a great win,

With all the dishes laid about,

I soon felt tired, and locked out,

And, my many dirty dishes, overflowed my trash bin.

THE LITTLE PIC WAS SENT HOME

The piccolo player only played with one hand,

He would make awful sounds, when he played in our band,

He had the tears of the sad,

When we all got really mad,

But, we all were happy, once pic player was canned.

BEAR CUT

I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair,

Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear,

I cut some hair off the top,

Then the big bear yelled, "Stop!",

I wanted to cut much more, but I didn't think I should dare.

SCHOOL LUNCHES: WHAT'S IN YOUR MEATLOAF?

What happened to the animals in the zoo?

When they closed the old zoo, some animals flew,

Other animals, it's said,

Became a stew, for dipped bread,

That news made many little children, boohoo.  😭😭😭😭😭

MY LIFE IN PLASTIC PIECES

I bought two little knick knacks, to display on my little dorm bookshelf,

One was a 3 inch plastic bear, the other a 2 inch plastic elf,

The bear had great big teeth,

The elf wore a Christmas wreath,

Next day, I found my knacks in pieces, broken by my mean roommate, Ralph.

THE DINOSAUR AND I

I went to see the dinosaur that was living down the street,

I never saw his bod before, just the tracks left by his feet,

I and the dino became chummy,

He liked me to scratch his fat tummy,

Sometimes the dino would pass gas, and nasty; what did he eat?

EGGS: NOT FOR DINNER

I bought a dozen large, chicken eggs,

Inside, I found beaks, eyes, guts and legs,

Near as I could tell,

These eggs were not well,

The store won't take them back, though I begs.

THE PRICE OF BEANS IN MANCELONA

I went to buy a small can of beans, in the Mancelona town,

I wanted a can of red beans, but all the beans were kind of brown,

I bought a can of brown beans,

High priced, but I had the means,

I went home and ate my pricy beans, then put on my bedtime gown.