SANTA HAS LABOR ISSUES

Santa isn't using reindeer to pull his sleigh, this year,

Instead, he's hired unicorns, they're cheap, they'll work for beer,

The reindeer have gone on strike,

Want more breaks, and a pay hike,

The elves won't cross the picket lines, and Christmas Eve is near.

SOLSTICE

I only get it once a year,

The winter solstice, lets be clear,

It's a cold night,

Warm clothes are tight,

Then at midnight, we raise a beer.

THE FOREST PRIMEVAL MONSTER

I went to the snow filled forest, Primeval, today,

To cut down some trees, to heat my cabin until May,

Used a sleigh, pulled by dogs,

To bring back all my logs,

A forest monster, followed me back to where I stay.

BURNT BY DRONES

My small, quiet home was attacked by aerial drones today,

I believe the drone soldiers came from somewhere far, far away,

So many drones did fly,

They darkened the day, sky,

They made me a smoking, charred carcass, by using a death ray.

THE DAM THAT BURST

When the lake dam burst, my log cabin took a rigorous swim,

Along with my sports card collection, and my pet spider, Jim,

The log cabin fell apart,

Nothing left for a restart,

No sports cards were recovered, and neither was my spider, Jim.

Martian Drones Are Here Shopping For Christmas🎄🎁

There was a mystery drone that landed on my trailer house,

The drone crushed in the roof a bit, and caused an "eek!", from a mouse,

I snuck outside for a peek,

The drone was taking a leak,

The drone said it was shopping for a Christmas gift, a blouse.

BEN, EMPATHY AND SPACE INVADERS CAME

Ben climbed up to the top of a mountain, to look down on the city,

Ben was excited to watch off-world drones, attack without pity,

Where those drones attacked,

Skyscrapers got whacked,

A fireworks factory got hit, and that explosion was pretty.

HOLIDAY ANXIETY, SENT ME TO THE NOOK.

I made out all my Christmas cards, but I could not find my address book,

I thought of where it could be, but it wasn't there when I took a look,

My anxiety got so severe,

I smashed a little, plastic reindeer,

Then I went down to the old pub, and sat all by myself in the nook.  

I GET EVEN WITH GUPPIES

I was raising expensive little corals in my guppy, fishy tank, 

I wanted to sell corals for money, and put the money in the bank,   

But, those crazy, guppy fish,

Ate my corals, for nutrish,  

I put in the guppy tank a piranha, and his name is Hungry Hank.

GUPPY JERKY

My fish tank was so full of guppies, they flopped onto the floor,

They'd dry and my kitty would eat them, then looked around for more,

The guppies dried; became jerky,

A chewy husk that was quirky,

I started selling jerked guppies, on all of my online stores.

NO PEAS, WATER AND BARLEY FOR FARLEY

My newest, best friend, Giggles Farley, 

Many claimed, he liked to make parlay,

But, he wouldn't speak,

Wouldn't open his beak,

He missed getting pea soup with barley.

DOLPH, THE SHINY TAILED REINDEER

Dolph, the sleigh bell, Santa reindeer, had a big, shiny tail,

You could see him flying through snowstorms, and rainstorms with hail,

On coco, Dolph, was wired,

So, Dolph, never got tired,

Dolph, led Santa's sleigh, after his red nosed father, expired.

READY FOR SANTA

I decorated with lights, that make twinkles

I made sugar cookies, and added sprinkles,

I hung up my longest, clean stocking,

Put Teddy in the chair, that's rocking,

Made a path to the bath, for Santa's tinkles.

EXTREME COLD: MICHIGAN, THE FREEZER STATE

I ran into my Uncle Karl, who lives down in the del,

By the size of his stomach, I knew that Karl wintered well,

Taters and fried cakes,

Is just what it takes,

To survive winters in Michigan, if that is where you dwell.

DRONES OVER THE TRAILER PARK

My trailer park is being overrun by flying drones,

The flying drones interfere with our functioning cell phones,

Our TVs have gone hush,

Our full toilets, won't flush,

And, drone ray guns burn the flesh off our bones.

RETURN OF THE DILL PICKLE DIET

I just took a look at my stacks of bills,

I kind of got the sad, Willy, weird, chills,

To feed my sweet, cute face,

I overspent, disgrace,

I'll return those big jars of pickled dills.

LEAVING TOWN

In my public hanging, I was gallows, displayed,

Fortuitous, I had a knife with a sharp blade,

With death, I could not coupe,

So, I cut my neck rope,

I rode out of town, leading a soldier's parade.

DIRTY DISHES, LOCKED IN

I had lots of dirty dishes to do, and I locked in,

There were so many dishes, it could have been a great win,

With all the dishes laid about,

I soon felt tired, and locked out,

And, my many dirty dishes, overflowed my trash bin.

THE LITTLE PIC WAS SENT HOME

The piccolo player only played with one hand,

He would make awful sounds, when he played in our band,

He had the tears of the sad,

When we all got really mad,

But, we all were happy, once pic player was canned.

BEAR CUT

I moved to Clare Michigan, to be a cutter of hair,

Things were going very well, until in walks a Clare bear,

I cut some hair off the top,

Then the big bear yelled, "Stop!",

I wanted to cut much more, but I didn't think I should dare.