PSYCHIC THIRTY-FIVE TOES, AND THE BRAIN DEAD FIVE

My favorite foot, is the one with thirty-five toes,

It goes where I want it, like the foot already knows,

The foot with toes, maxed at five,

Acts brain dead, it's not alive,

It really slows me down, giving me scheduling woes.

JERRY THE BOUNCER

Jerry had some weird, but mostly mundane work nights,

Jerry was a bar bouncer, and he bounced all fights,

He threw out the punks,

Called cabs for the drunks,

At last, He locked the place down, and turned out the lights.

41824

THE CHIP AND THE DUMPSTER DIVER

The authorities insisted I was insane,

They insisted, and put a chip into my brain,

The chip made me much less smart,

I push a grocery cart,

Collecting my treasure down each road, street and lane.

WEEDS, SEEDS AND BEADS

Benny brutally weed wacked off his weeds,

But, weed wacking spread around the weed seeds,

It was so very unfair,

Benny choked out on the air,

Now he's homebound, and makes bracelets from beads.

TIN FOIL HAT PEOPLE NEED HELP

I ran out of tin foil, now the state owns my brain,

With no shinny tin hat, I'm completely insane,

To remember what's true,

On my tongue I must chew,

To keep my mind clear, I must suffer great pain.

Warning:  Don't try this at home. It hurts.