LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Stores
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
Stores
.
Show all posts
Friday, August 9, 2024
HUMANS TAUGHT THE SQUIRRELS A BAD HABBIT
Serious squirrels love their found, big cigarette butts,
Squirrels store found butts away, as if they were nuts,
In winter it snows and blows,
Nicotine bests such bad woes,
Squirrels learned this from the humans; they live in huts.
Friday, November 24, 2023
SEEDS, WEEDS AND MEADES: FRANK'S STORY
Early in the morning, Frank did the dirtiest deed,
He went to the mall for his daily weed and some seed,
The shop was not there,
Closed by Smokey The Bear,
Frank went next door to tbe brewpub, and drank 6 pints of meade.
Tuesday, November 21, 2023
MY SNOWBLOWER WAS NOT "SATISFACTION GUARANTEED".
I bought me a snowblower and it did not work,
I tried taking it back, and it was refused by a clerk,
I demanded to talk to the one in charge,
There is always one of them at large,
That one banned me from the store, and called me a jerk.
Saturday, July 23, 2022
I CAUGHT THE ITCH AT THE GROCERY STORE
I searched for a great bargain price,
On cereal that was a poofed kind of rice,
I found nothing cheap,
So I stormed home in my jeep,
Scratching my hairs that incubated head lice.
MY LAST STOP, THE HOBBY SHOP (I shopped till I was dropped dead)
I have a hobby,
So I went to a Lobby,
The store clerks were snobby
At the checkout, I got robby,
I became very sobby,
They called in a bobby,
He cracked me on the knobby,
Then said that was his jobby,
Cause he served the Lobby,
And out oozed my brains.
Monday, October 11, 2021
THE FINANCES OF A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON
There was a dragon named Bill,
He worked at the card shop by the mill,
And, when his own funds got depleted,
Bill often repeated,
A five finger discount from the till.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
THE ROTTEN FIGS LIMERICK
The figs I ate were rotten,
That's why they were cheaply gotten,
So, when at a store,
Don't buy like you're poor,
Or, on the floor you will be vomit blot'en.
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