LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Hunter
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
Hunter
.
Show all posts
Monday, November 25, 2024
THE HUNTER AND THE GATHERER.
I went blackberry picking, and dropped a blackberry upon the ground,
I bent over to pick up the berry, and heard a bear growling sound,
I screamed loud, and then got mauled,
For help, I forever called,
Then the bad bear bit into my bloodied arm, and dragged me all around.
Saturday, November 16, 2024
THE WHIMSICAL LIFE CYCLE OF BELL FISH
Bell fish are swimming and mating, way out in the bay,
They go ding and they go dong, and they ding dong all day,
Baby bell fish are chimes,
They tinkle many times,
But, those poor baby bell fish, are food for the blue jay
Friday, August 30, 2024
COUNTRY KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS
I went to the dead critter store, and bought me fresh ground beef,
I took it home to my young'uns for their famine relief,
But the kids did not care,
They were eating a bear,
They had scraped bear meat off the street, it was roadkill, good grief.
Friday, July 19, 2024
SQUIRREL FOOD
I shot a squirrel that was up in a tree,
I will eat squirrel meat, when I have my tea,
You know what's what's,
I found his nuts,
I will chew on his nuts, when I watch tv.
Saturday, June 22, 2024
Ten Trout
10 little rainbow trout,
Swam around and about,
They saw a big bass,
Under the log pass,
Now they're in his belly, and can't get out.
62224
Thursday, February 15, 2024
I'M NOT LAZY; I MAKE STEW
When I have a lot of work to do,
I do nothing, except make a stew,
I take a special pill,
So I can eat roadkill,
Or my skin turns green, and then turns blue.
Friday, January 5, 2024
THE POLAR BEAR AND THE MAMA DEER
There once was this polar bear, his name was Moe,
He had a hunger for every little doe,
Moe would watch them and drool,
An obsessed dumb bear fool,
Moe never caught one, because old Moe was slow.
Saturday, November 18, 2023
CHICKEN, GREASE AND BUNNIES
I bought some little chunks of chicken to deep fry in bacon grease,
That's what we'll have for Christmas, because my bird shot missed the geese,
Although I'm in the habit,
Of eating Christmas rabbit,
The bunnies, this year looked so cute, that I left them all in peace.
Thursday, November 16, 2023
THE WOLF HAD A BONE TO CHEW, AT DEER CAMP
I drove way up north to our deer camp, and it was most insane,
My friends all went to a secret deer camp, via an aeroplane,
I sat by the fire, alone,
Here comes a wolf, chewing a bone,
He said the place to get a deer, is the tracks, where runs the train.
Friday, November 10, 2023
UNCLE PETE AND HIS HUNTER GATHERER TRAIL MIX
I tried some some trail mix, but it was not any good,
It was made up of ground pinecones, and splinters of wood,
But old Uncle Pete,
He was crazy, and he eat,
Pete was never a looker, but his tombstone looked good.
Saturday, November 4, 2023
GRANDPA, HIS RUG, AND MAY GRANDMA RIP
My grandpa once shot a big butt bear,
Gramps made a rug out of the bear hair,
He made a throw for the bed,
Even a wig for his head,
That gave grandma a heart attack scare.
Saturday, October 28, 2023
THE ELF HUNTED MONSTER, BECAUSE HE ADMIRES THE HORNS
The minor monster made a slight moan as he mourns,
For an elf cut off the monster's favorite horns,
The elf had done bad,
But horns made him glad,
The main wall in his cottage, the horns will adorn.
Friday, October 13, 2023
NOBILITY, WORMS AND SQUIRMS
Oh, the noble chicken reigns, over the bugs and worms,
And, all creatures in the chicken coup, with the chicken, come to terms,
For the chicken, it can eat ya,
In a battle, it will defeat ya,
But, then here comes the fox, and in it's mouth the chicken squirms.
Saturday, July 1, 2023
I HUNT THE HIGHWAYS
I stuck my dutch oven over the blazing campfire,
For I had found some fresh roadkill, still stuck to my tire,
No guess as to which varmint,
But my tire did harm it,
I just cannot waste meat, when food stores are so dire.
Thursday, May 18, 2023
YOU EITHER FISH FOR SUPPER OR WITH SUPPER
My fishing rig,
A plastic worm on a jig,
Caught a fish,
Don't I wish,
Super is a plastic worm and a cig.
Sunday, April 30, 2023
HANK GOES FISHING (MISSING)
Hank went fishing in his boat with a hook, line, sinker and bobbin,
Fish were biting, but off his hook the worms they were robbin,
Then along came this toothy fish,
A thousand pounds of good nutrish,
Never found Hank, and that left the townies, all sobbin.
Tuesday, April 4, 2023
POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS
Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,
The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,
That made Dave feel really sad inside,
So, in his hankie he cried and cried,
Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.
Monday, November 14, 2022
UNICORN HORN
I've been eating dear meat since I was Born,🍔
Today I got hankering for the Unicorn,🦄
I went unicorn hunting,🏹
Found a big one was grunting,👀
He horned me through the heart, now I'm torn.💔😵
Friday, September 10, 2021
I HAVE AN ALIEN, REPTILIAN BRAIN LIMERICK
I have an alien, reptilian brain,
I just want to murder and eat, it's insane,
Please, don't give me no hugs,
Just pass me a plate of big bugs,
For a main course, I'll eat someone's Great Dane.
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