I'M NOT LAZY; I MAKE STEW

When I have a lot of work to do,

I do nothing, except make a stew,

I take a special pill,

So I can eat roadkill,

Or my skin turns green, and then turns blue.

THE POLAR BEAR AND THE MAMA DEER

There once was this polar bear, his name was Moe,

He had a hunger for every little doe,

Moe would watch them and drool,

An obsessed dumb bear fool,

Moe never caught one, because old Moe was slow.

CHICKEN, GREASE AND BUNNIES

I bought some little chunks of chicken to deep fry in bacon grease,

That's what we'll have for Christmas, because my bird shot missed the geese, 

Although I'm in the habit,

Of eating Christmas rabbit,

The bunnies, this year looked so cute, that I left them all in peace.

THE WOLF HAD A BONE TO CHEW, AT DEER CAMP

I drove way up north to our deer camp, and it was most insane,

My friends all went to a secret deer camp, via an aeroplane,

I sat by the fire, alone,

Here comes a wolf, chewing a bone,

He said the place to get a deer, is the tracks, where runs the train.

UNCLE PETE AND HIS HUNTER GATHERER TRAIL MIX

I tried some some trail mix, but it was not any good,

It was made up of ground pinecones, and splinters of wood,

But old Uncle Pete,

He was crazy, and he eat,

Pete was never a looker, but his tombstone looked good.

GRANDPA, HIS RUG, AND MAY GRANDMA RIP

My grandpa once shot a big butt bear,

Gramps made a rug out of the bear hair,

He made a throw for the bed,

Even a wig for his head,

That gave grandma a heart attack scare.

THE ELF HUNTED MONSTER, BECAUSE HE ADMIRES THE HORNS

The minor monster made a slight moan as he mourns,

For an elf cut off the monster's favorite horns,

The elf had done bad,

But horns made him glad,

The main wall in his cottage, the horns will adorn.

NOBILITY, WORMS AND SQUIRMS

Oh, the noble chicken reigns, over the bugs and worms,

And, all creatures in the chicken coup, with the chicken, come to terms,

For the chicken, it can eat ya,

In a battle, it will defeat ya,

But, then here comes the fox, and in it's mouth the chicken squirms.

I HUNT THE HIGHWAYS

I stuck my dutch oven over the blazing campfire,

For I had found some fresh roadkill, still stuck to my tire,

No guess as to which varmint,

But my tire did harm it,

I just cannot waste meat, when food stores are so dire.

YOU EITHER FISH FOR SUPPER OR WITH SUPPER

My fishing rig,

A plastic worm on a jig,

Caught a fish,

Don't I wish,

Super is a plastic worm and a cig.

HANK GOES FISHING (MISSING)

Hank went fishing in his boat with a hook, line, sinker and bobbin,

Fish were biting, but off his hook the worms they were robbin,

Then along came this toothy fish,

A thousand pounds of good nutrish,

Never found Hank, and that left the townies, all sobbin.

POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS

Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,

The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,

That made Dave feel really sad inside,

So, in his hankie he cried and cried,

Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.

UNICORN HORN

I've been eating dear meat since I was Born,🍔

Today I got hankering for the Unicorn,🦄

I went unicorn hunting,🏹

Found a big one was grunting,👀

He horned me through the heart, now I'm torn.💔😵

I HAVE AN ALIEN, REPTILIAN BRAIN LIMERICK

I have an alien, reptilian brain,

I just want to murder and eat, it's insane,

Please, don't give me no hugs,

Just pass me a plate of big bugs,

For a main course, I'll eat someone's Great Dane.