COUNTRY KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS

I went to the dead critter store, and bought me fresh ground beef,

I took it home to my young'uns for their famine relief,

But the kids did not care,

They were eating a bear,

They had scraped bear meat off the street, it was roadkill, good grief.

I'M NOT LAZY; I MAKE STEW

When I have a lot of work to do,

I do nothing, except make a stew,

I take a special pill,

So I can eat roadkill,

Or my skin turns green, and then turns blue.

CHICKEN, GREASE AND BUNNIES

I bought some little chunks of chicken to deep fry in bacon grease,

That's what we'll have for Christmas, because my bird shot missed the geese, 

Although I'm in the habit,

Of eating Christmas rabbit,

The bunnies, this year looked so cute, that I left them all in peace.

UNCLE PETE AND HIS HUNTER GATHERER TRAIL MIX

I tried some some trail mix, but it was not any good,

It was made up of ground pinecones, and splinters of wood,

But old Uncle Pete,

He was crazy, and he eat,

Pete was never a looker, but his tombstone looked good.

GRANDPA, HIS RUG, AND MAY GRANDMA RIP

My grandpa once shot a big butt bear,

Gramps made a rug out of the bear hair,

He made a throw for the bed,

Even a wig for his head,

That gave grandma a heart attack scare.

I HUNT THE HIGHWAYS

I stuck my dutch oven over the blazing campfire,

For I had found some fresh roadkill, still stuck to my tire,

No guess as to which varmint,

But my tire did harm it,

I just cannot waste meat, when food stores are so dire.

HANK GOES FISHING (MISSING)

Hank went fishing in his boat with a hook, line, sinker and bobbin,

Fish were biting, but off his hook the worms they were robbin,

Then along came this toothy fish,

A thousand pounds of good nutrish,

Never found Hank, and that left the townies, all sobbin.

POACHED EGGS WITH LEGS

Dave went out into the woods to poach his self some eggs,

The eggs had baby chicks within, complete with little legs,

That made Dave feel really sad inside,

So, in his hankie he cried and cried,

Dave now steals from chicken coups, when caught, his life he begs.