MAMA SAID THERE WOULD BE DAYS...

I went on down to the local bar to sip on some suds,

I bought the patrons at least 2 rounds, and made some new buds,

I invited the party back home,

Where they all just puked, and spilt beer foam,

Now I know why mama said, "your bar buds are mostly cruds".

FRED GOES TO?

There was an old fella known by most as, Fred,

He was found face down in a stream, drowned and dead,

Fred hit his big head,

On a hard rock bed,

Fred's somewhere drinking moonshine, with cousin Ted.

MY TOAD CHEWED EARS

My toad likes to nibble my ears,

I said, "stop, or I'll cut off your beers",

He did not stop,

So he's drinking just pop,

But he spikes it, that's what I fears.

TENNESSEE MOONSHINE GENES

Because I live in Tennessee,

I drank moonshine till I couldn't see,

Then mamma gave me a slap,

Said I was a drunk, just like pap,

He'd pass out, then he'd pee.