YOU CAN WADDLE FOR FREE

My bicycle got ran over by a big truck,

A good fix would cost me many a saw buck,

My bike's in the trash,

I saved lots of cash,

Now I just walk, more like waddle, like a duck.

THE VAMPIRE PLOTS REVENGE

They chopped off my head, and put me in a deep, cold grave,

They piled on some heavy rocks, so I wouldn't misbehave,

I crawled out of my dead bed,

Crowned my shoulders with my head,

Then I hunted villagers, and fresh made blood they gave.

ZOMBIE CAREER ADVICE FOR DUMMIES VOLUME I

If you want to be a Zombie, you see a dentist first,

Without two good rows of teeth, your Zombie career is burst,

Your teeth must bite, tear and rip,

Even though the blood might drip,

Remember to eat those moist, tender brains, they will quench your thirst.

I POEMED THE ZOMBIES

In the streets the zombies roamed, 

Their mouths were drooling while nostrils foamed,

But, I valued my hide,

So, I stayed inside,

And, the zombie saga I poemed.

MY KITH AND KIN FINALLY GOT SOME BRAINS BETWEEN 'EM

I was attacked by zombies, and they were my kith and kin,

They opened my head, ate my brains like sardines in a tin,

Fed kids who were poor,

The old ones who snore,

All were satisfied by me, as I fed them their din, din.

ZOMBIE EATS BRAINS

He just rose up from the dead and started eating people's brains,

But after eating all that gray matter, no memories he retains,

I thought it'd be a joke,

If I gave him a finger poke,

Then he chomped down on my forehead, and gave my skull such pains.

ZOMBIES

I always make sure I shoot the zombie in the head,

That's the only sure way you know that zombie be dead,

If you pass a zombie too near,

He's sure to bite you on the ear,

Then you be squirting out red.

THE DASHSHUND DAN LIMERICK

Poor Dachshund Dan,
He wanted to walk like a man,
But, when he walked on two legs,
It was like he was moving stiff pegs,
And, he was stumbling around when he ran.