MOMMY, THEY ARE CALLING ME A HOMINID

I'm being called a hominid, because I like to stand on my two hind feet,

The only reason I do it, is to see if I can find something to eat,

They all make fun of me,

Because I like to see,

But when I saw that polar bear, I got everyone to quickly retreat.

DUH OR DO RHYMES WITH KANGAROO?

Why do they call it Florida, instead of Florido?

Would you rather call it duh, or rhyme it with kangaroo? 

Names should be real sweetie cute,

Gives recognition a toot, toot,

Guess I'll say no more about duh, or I'll get kicked hard by the boot.

LARD LOST HIS CHARD

It hailed upon my head so hard,

It made me puke up my Swiss chard,

They was diet greens

To untighten my jeans,

So I'd no longer have the moniker, "Lard".