LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Sunday, March 3, 2024
FOUR STONE WALLS AND A PEACH
My city had four stone walls, that were tall and hard to breach,
In front of my city, was a long, golden, sandy beach,
My city showed it had power,
When it built a tall clock tower,
Every time the loud chimes ring, my old fruit tree drops a peach.
Sunday, February 18, 2024
BEN DOES THE SNOW
Ben's driveway was covered with snow,
Ben decided to give it a blow,
Ben is just a big slob,
He did one sloppy job,
Then he cleaned off the ice with a hoe.
Friday, February 16, 2024
THE CEILING
A ceiling keeps me from getting totally wet,
It keeps some snow out, so mommy don't get upset,
Then there is dad,
He is macho bad,
If he'd just put up walls, we'd be better off, yet.
Thursday, February 8, 2024
MOUSE BE NIMBLE, MOUSE BE QUICK, OR IN THE GLUE TRAP YOU WILL STICK
Little Ginger was a furry,
She was a mouse not in a hurry,
She moved slowly, tap tap,
Got stuck in a glue trap,
Then the furry started to worry.
10522
Friday, February 2, 2024
PIE SAFE SAFTY
There was a great river that fell from the sky,
It crashed on my trailer, and I thought I'd die,
My trailer has leaks,
It's full of antiques,
To great grandma's old pie safe, I said "goodbye".
Monday, January 29, 2024
MY HEATER DID NOT SERVE ME WELL
I set my electric heater dial to toasty,
Took a long nap, and I woke up being roasty,
It was not my desire,
My shack catch on fire,
Seems my electric heater has made me a ghosty.
Friday, December 8, 2023
THE GLOWING SNOW WAS PAINTED BLUE
Chips of blue paint covered the new fallen snow,
The moonlight hit it, and the moonlight, it glow,
It's my peeled house paint,
The white snow it taint,
I would have repainted, but I didn't have much doe.
Friday, November 3, 2023
BENNY FED HIS GUEST A BIG MEAL
Benny did not see the bear that entered through the door,
Benny did not hear the bear, because Benny made loud snore,
Benny was quite a deal,
At 300 lbs, he made a meal,
After the bear was feeling full, he took a nap on Benny's floor.
Friday, October 27, 2023
THE CHIPMUNK AND THE NOSE RING
I lost my gold nose ring when it fell on the floor,
Stolen by a chipmunk, because I left open the door,
Chipmunks are such thieves,
They hide booty in my eaves,
I should steal their black walnuts, to even the score.
Tuesday, October 17, 2023
JERKS
Wherever I travel, there are only mean jerks,
From my family at home, to the all store clerks,
I would just stay in bed,
But, I need to get fed,
I guess being real cruel are common human quirks.
Thursday, October 5, 2023
THE PENGUIN AND HIS PIGS
We were once bestest friends, the penguin and I,
I'd lift him up, and he'd pretend he could fly,
Then he ran off with my sweetie,
Far away to Tahiti,
Last I heard, they were raising pigs in Dubai.
Sunday, September 17, 2023
THREE PIGS IN A PICKLE
A giant pickle laid on the ground,
Worms hollowed it out but, the walls were still sound,
Then, three little pigs,
Made the pickle their digs,
With rent being two pence and one pound.
Monday, September 11, 2023
DOWN RIVER TO THE STUD
My roommate left the water on, after he washed off his crud,
It turned into a little river, that turned into a flood,
Our little apartment fell away,
Into the room where the landlord lay,
He was with several girlfriends, because he was a stud.
Friday, August 18, 2023
PING, PANG, POOF, GOES THE ROOF
The rain poured down upon my metal roof,
The rain raged with a ping, pang and poof,
The water pounded the tin
The rain did not get in,
But it caused my doggie to bark "woof, woof".
Tuesday, August 8, 2023
HOT CHOCOLATE WOULD HIT THE SPOT, LIMERICK
The rain pelted down on my brain,
It made me 3/4 insane,
I was way out in the woods,
Picking mushroom goody goods,
Dreamed of coco, flavored with candy cane.
Wednesday, July 26, 2023
ICHY, STICKY, YICKY FLOOR
I decided to sweep the floor,
It had never been done before,
But, the floor was so sticky,
My broom got all ichy,
So, I ruged the place from door to door.
Thursday, July 6, 2023
MY NEW HOME IN THE WOODS
I was given a key for the front and the back,
But there's no doors, or doorknobs, on my lean-to shack,
There's a hanging blanket front door,
Inside, in places there's floor,
Backdoor, is old tires in a stack.
Sunday, June 11, 2023
A POX ON CRISTMAS IN JULY
I got a toy train for Christmas, but I just got it out of the box,
It's almost the 4th of July, and I'm stuck home with the chicken pox,
My train goes "choo, choo, choo",
With an engine hauling cars #1 and #2,
It's run over two small plastic humans, and almost hit the rubber fox.
Wednesday, May 31, 2023
I MADE A NEW FRIEND IN MY NEW HOUSE
I had some wattle and clay, and built a brand new house,
It stunk so very bad, I lost four cats and my spouse,
But without delay,
I made a friend that day,
Who moved in, after he had a deep crevice de-louse.
Friday, December 9, 2022
FIRE SALE
My prop taxes are due once again,
They've gone up on my shack made of tin,
During the last four big fires,
My trailer lost all four tires,
I just can't move away, I can't win.
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