THE NASTY INTERNET IS MEAN

The internet is nasty, and I got told off in several, meanie ways,  

I was harassed daily by mean emojis, and trolled with fake, sarcastic praise,

I got told off,  by single fingers,

Real naughty, love position, zingers,

I was oft posted in an AI, distorted pic., both eyes covered with glaze. 

MOMMY, THEY ARE CALLING ME A HOMINID

I'm being called a hominid, because I like to stand on my two hind feet,

The only reason I do it, is to see if I can find something to eat,

They all make fun of me,

Because I like to see,

But when I saw that polar bear, I got everyone to quickly retreat.

SPAM JAM BENNY

Benny went to a foot doctor, to have all his toes dejammed,

This was soon on social media, now Benny's getting spamed,

Spam was one of Benny's big fears,

Toe jams has brought Benny to tears,

Now, everywhere that Benny goes, his jams will get him slammed.  

THE BOY WITH THE BROKEN THING

Young Jim Flip Joy LaRoy,

Loved his new airplane toy,

He took it to school,

Kids broke it, so cruel,

Jim had tears to deploy.

THE BIGGER THEY ARE

The bigger they are, the more they have gall,

Those wide, and heavy, and overly tall,

My arm cannot reach,

To touch them, to teach,

One slap from them, and I'm flat on the wall.

SOMEONE GOT IN A SCRAPE AT THE BAR

I went to the to The Two Bird Bar,

Somebody keyed my new sporty car,

When I came outside,

I cried and I cried,

The mean patrons went hardy, har, har.

BIG JAKE THE SNAKE AND JITTERS

There once was a shy, young tiger named Jitters,

Jitters liked eating little furry critters,

Along comes a rattlesnake,

He said his name was Big Jake,

Jitters ran to the pub and downed much bitters.

I SHAVED MY HEAD AND GOT TO THE POINT

I shaved my head and found a point on the top,

I inherited my point from my mother's side grandpop,

Now, all the time I get teased,

I'm not at all pleased,

When my hair grows out will it stop? 

BIG UGLY DUMB GATOR TOOK MY BOOKS

Big Ugly Gator took my books, and burned them all,

Gator burned my coloring books, that made me bawl,

He then gave me a book,

On how pork, I should cook,

Big Ugly Dumb Gator has some real nasty gall.

THE THREE SIBLINGS RETURN

The three siblings were allowed back into the school,

They had been suspended, for breaking every rule,

Restricted to gym classes,

Forbidden, toilet passes,

They said mean things to teacher, and he cried like a fool.

I HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED BY PLANTS FROM ANOTHER WORLD, LIMERICK

There are alien flowers growing behind my shack,

I don't talk to them because they holler back,

They are very demanding,

In fact, downright commanding

I do what they say, because I'm afraid they'll attack.

TOAD BOWELS TO.FEAR

We were exploring a dusty back road,

I and my friend/partner, Toad,

We were attacked by dire deer,

They didn't like Toad's species, I fear,

Poor toad, lost his entire bowel load.

MY TWEET, TWEET WAR

I got told off, and it was bitter,

By a bot troll, trolling Twitter,

They said I was a stupid quitter,

Said I should shut up, or I'd getter,

I addressed the bot, called them, Dim Witter. 

THE CHRISTMAS UNICORN BULLY

Mark the unicorn was a menace to the sleigh,

He'd stick his horn through the sides and poke the elves everyday,

Mark poked Santa too,

Which made Santa boohoo,

The sleigh crew wanted the unicorn to just go away.

RUNAWAY AND THE BULLY

In the hall of bullies we count just nine,

Only one barked abuse, the others stayed fine,

But it does not matter,

The abused quickly scatter,

Like a bladder burst with pee tasting wine.

TODD LOST HIS BASE

Todd looked all over the place,

But his feet couldn't find third base,

Todd was tagged out and became a disgrace,

No one would look him in the face,

Except Jean, who gave Todd bear mace,

Todd moved away to another place,

Where Todd just watched the ponies race,

And no one got on his case.

THE TEETER TOTTER TEARS

It rained on my teeter totter, and now it's all wet,

If now I teeter totter, I will find woe and then regret,

My pants will get all muddy,

And my neighbors will say I'm cruddy

Then I'll end up crying, because I am upset.

LARD LOST HIS CHARD

It hailed upon my head so hard,

It made me puke up my Swiss chard,

They was diet greens

To untighten my jeans,

So I'd no longer have the moniker, "Lard".

TYRANT ORANGE

When Donny was a little orange, he dreamed of a future day,

When Donny would be president and, have scary things to say,

He would threaten persons near and far,

And, be all bullies rising star,

But, he made too many people mad so, Donny went away.

DONNY SEEKS JOY BY EVIL DEEDS

Donny wanted all the toys,

So, he bullied all the girls and boys,

And, if a kid said no deal,

Donny simply would steal

Evil deeds were Donny's great joys.