BOIL AND BUBBLE, THE SEPTIC TANK IS IN TROUBLE

It was sad when my septic eruption, fouled all my breathable air,

My memorial stone stated that I died from, "nose toxic despair",

If it's clear breathing you seek,

Country life you will find bleak,

For septic tanks overflow weekly, because they are clogged up with hair.

THE SUBURBAN LEGEND OF THE TURD

I have a thriving business, that sucks out your stinky, septic tank,

The sewage is for me, an investment in my money market, bank,

One day, there rose from a tank, dead,

A cold turd monster, some call Fred,

I smacked Fred hard on the head with my shovel, and down, the big turd sank.