BENNY GOT RETUBED

Benny used green leaves for toilet paper, and got a bad infection,

When he showed his old doctor, the doctor, quickly made a connection,

Some common green leaves, we all know,

Are poison, and cause drainage woe,

Benny stayed in the hospital, while they retubed his lower section.

EFFICIENCY

There once was a toilet named Mabel,

She was setup at the kitchenette table,

Now, your nostrils might rue,

You could eat and go poo,

While watching your news shows on cable.

MY FOUR WISHES

I decided to give myself four wishes,

The first was that I had sparkling, clean dishes,

Next, the toilet would clean flush,

Then, I'd have a new toothbrush,

Last, I wished my crumb cake would be delicious.

LOVE BUNNY SITS ON MY TOILET

My love bunny is so crybaby sad,

My love bunny ate scallops that were bad,

The soft toilet seat,

Is love bunny's retreat,

When I can use the toilet, I'll be glad.

JOHN, RON, DON, AND THE THE PORCELAIN MASTERPIECE

I went to the office and went to the John,

The porcelain was painted, I think it was Ron,

Ron just left a big mess,

Now he's chatting with Bess,

I called up the daytime janitor, poor Don.

MY TOOTHBRUSH DROWNED IN A TOXIC POND

My toothbrush fell into the toilet, before it had been flushed,

It was like family, that toothbrush, so now I'm completely crushed,

My 5 siblings hit the toilet first,

None flush, afraid pipes will burst,

Now I must decide my friend's sad fate, I will not be rushed.

HOW I FEEL IN 2021

I feel like a drop of pee,

Floating in a turd filled sea,

No one really cares for me,

Because I smell like last night's tea,

Flush the toilet, set me free.

THE TALE OF TWO TROTTER ON A POTTER

This be the tale of Mr. and Mrs. Trotter,

They liked eating raw oysters and otter,

They both spent much time on the potter,

They'd flush it away with much water,

Then they both laid down on the cotter,

NERO DRANK TO CAPACITY

Nero drank soda pop all week long,

He would not stop, did not know it was wrong,

But, then late at night,

His bed felt not quite right,

And, his wife wrote him a bed pee pee song.

I DUG A DEEP TOILET HOLE AND NOW I'M IN DEEP TROUBLE (💩)

I dug a hole for my toilet near my garden outside,

I thought to  build over a shack for privacy pride,

But, I knew I dug deep, too far,

When I seen a moon and a star,

Forgot the earth is flat and measures just 13 feet wide.

NO ROOM FOR THE POOL TABLE

I put a pool table in my bedroom but, it did not fit,

I moved the pool table to the bathroom but, then no one could sit,

My pool table didn't fit the den,

So, I had to move it once again,

I called the local haulers now, it's in the garbage pit.