A TALE OF TWO TUNA TUBS

I bought two tubs of tuna, and found one stinky, rotten, yesterday,

I had left it in the basement, about 16 months ago, I'd say,

The other tuna tub,

Was used to make my sub,

I'm sure I made a massive tuna melt, and that's what I now convey.

A FLYING FRY CAN PUT OUT AN EYE

The meal I made had become weaponized,

The kids were fighting each other with fries,

Surrounded by missile booms,

I sent all kids to their rooms,

I stand determined that nobody dies.

I WENT TO WORK AFTER MY DINNER GUESTS WERE GONE

There were 35 dead flies on my sesame seed bun,

I know, because I counted every wire-winged one,

The many flies and stale bun had to go,

They went into the compactor of woe,

I went driving into work, under a rising, red sun.

SOCIAL MEDIA, BEEF, KIDS AND MAGGOTS

I opened my refrigerator, and maggots were eating my beef roast,

J wondered how the maggots tasted, so I ate some on my buttered toast,

They were more crunchy than I thought,

They had flavors, I often sought,

I fried some maggots to feed the kids, their reactions I will upload, post.

WHAT THE SMARTEST HOMINIDS USE TO EAT

There was once an advanced hominid species, far smarter than man,

They only ate macaroni, and it had to come from a can,

After adding small chips of pine wood,

The macaroni smelled really good,

Then it was mixed with chicken fat, and fried in a cast iron pan.

CHICKEN SPECIAL OF THE DAY🐔

I went to the grocery store to buy some breast cuts of chicken,

When I sorted through the cuts of chicken, my ticker did quicken,

The only chicken that I could afford,

Was in a sausage casing, poured,

When the kids ate the sausage, there was toileting, for the stricken.

FRESH FISH STEW FROM THE LAKE OF BLUE

The little creature floating in my stew,

I caught in the lake that was colored blue,

I bopped his head, so he would not come to,

If he did, this day he would come to rue,

He smelled like a fish, and tasted like poo.

STONE STEW, MY BLUE

The stew I ate was full of stones and dirt,

The stew caused me a real awful, bad hurt,

I cracked a dear tooth,

I had since my youth,

And broke my jaw, which I had since my birth.

TRAMP FOOD AND DREAMS

I have animal blood and sugar, to flavor my potato, tonight,

I do not have any so called money, but I am still eating alright,

Soon, when my belly gets big,

 I will be fat, like a pig,

I'll have to unbutton my trousers, for they will not be snug, but tight.

FROG, CHEESE,YUMMY

I had parmesan cheese frog in my roaster,

Thick garlic/onion bread in my wide toaster,

It's the bestest of dinners,

The best of the big winners,

And, I am normally not a big boaster.

MY FAMILY MAKES ME SO SICK I WON'T EAT

Jerry the rabbit is always picking his big nose,

He picks and he picks, until the red blood freely flows,

He does it at the dinner table,

It makes my appetite, disable,

And, my pet monkey Trish, eats the jams between her toes.

I GOT A LICKEN, WHEN TEXAS BANNED CHICKEN

A law was just passed saying you could no longer eat chicken,

If you were caught eating bird you'd get a public licken,

A punishment of pain,

Affects one's brain,

Then the smell of cooked bird makes you sicken.

I CHEESED AND CHEESED

I cheesed and cheesed my lettuce salad mix,

It still tasted bad, so I tried a bacon bits fix,

I got tired of messing,

So I dumped on the dressing,

And reserved it for supper at six.

THE PORTION WAS SO SMALL

I went to a restaurant and ordered fish for my suppy,

I paid $45.00. and they served me a guppy,

The fish portion was so small,

I gave the waiter a call,

He then, offered me an extra hush puppy.