MYTHICAL HORNED BEASTS DEFEAT BIGLY BEAR

There was a bear in my farm field, chewing on my eared corns,

I sicked on him my dangerous, half feral unicorns,

The bear yawned, and took a great, bigly, bear poop,

He thought he'd be eating unicorn gut soup,

The bear did not reckon on the poison in the uni horns.

DRAGONS BE THERE

In the great pond, near the new castle, a dragon be there,

Turning green the vast waters, and above, clouding the air,

The great dragon was guarded by clouds,

As he hunted within tourist crowds,

He took many from they're number, yet no one seemed to care.

TORMENTED BY THE BLUE FOG FARIES

There be a clan of fairies, who live down by the bog,

They buzz around my head, in nights pitch thick, with blue fog,

They have pulled out much of my hair,

I've got bald spots, everywhere,

Once home, I kill the sharp pains, with two pints of red grog.  

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Snow Fairies

I saw through the window snow fairies were acting high and jolly,

They were chewing on the green, green leaves that coat my climbing holly,

There was much snow and wind blow,

So I watched from the window,

One of the fairies looked like my cat, now I call them both, Polly

THE CORN MOON BANCHEE

The Corn Moon rises up into the September sky,

Forest monsters are dancing, and weird pumpkins, they fly,

The great pigs we baste and roast,

Feeding any passing ghost,

While just this side of the Moore's, there's a lone banshe cry.

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DRAGON POOF REVENGE

There was a fire breathing dragon, and he was acting like a goof,

The dragon, was dancing down the center of my big red barns, tin roof,

The neighbors got their varmint guns,

And, shot the dragon in his buns,

The pained dragon, blew his blazing breath, and all the farms around went, "Poof!"

BEST TASTING THING IN THE GARDEN, THE GNOME

For family dinner, I cooked a small, garden gnome,

When I fried his little giblets, he begged to go home,

"I'm awful hungry", I said ,

" Your prolly already dead",

Then his greasy giblets, started to pop and to foam.

"

THE WHACKING GOBLIN AND THE SHIN TWIG

A little goblin was hanging outside my door,

The gob had a bow, an arrow, and one thing more,

He had a stick,

That little sick,

The gob whacked both of my shins, and did it times four.

                                                       <3

STUCK ONCE BY TWO HORNS HURTS, STUCK TWICE BY TWO HORNS, MEANS GOODBYE

I came upon a Minotaur, and he gored me with his horns,

I had just been food shopping, so I dropped all my cans of corns,

I dropped my butter,

Started to stutter,

The meanie gored me again, now the limerick world mourns.

GARGOYLES GOT TALENT

I followed some tire marks in the sand,

They led to a gargoyle band,

The one named Sweet Hilda,

Sang Waltzing Matilda,

While the others laid back and got tanned.