TED TAMED THE SHREW

My doggy ate my goldfish, and my doggy at a little shrew,

My doggy ate my new tennis shoes, because that's what doggies do?

My doggy is named Ted,

He's not right in the head,

He ripped up daddy's favorite chair, and peed on my mommy's bed.

I LOST MY TWEETY, BUT SAVED HIS BELL

Someone launched some flying, rocket fireworks, and holy...well,

They flew threw my open window, and made a real nasty smell,

Then came a fast, roaring fire,

The damage was vast, entire,

The only thing I saved, was my pet parakeets birdseed bell.

MY CHEESE EATING BUNNY

I have a cute bunny rabbit that only eats real cheddar cheese,

The bun barges into the fridge and takes it, never saying please,

I am a total mute,

Because bunny is cute,

I will never criticise bunny, because bunny is the bees knees.

THE CEILING

A ceiling keeps me from getting totally wet,

It keeps some snow out, so mommy don't get upset,

Then there is dad,

He is macho bad,

If he'd just put up walls, we'd be better off, yet.

I FED A FERRET, AND HE POOPED ON MY FLOOR

I invited a ferret over for dinner, but he was not very nice,

He was always chattering and chattering, and gave my youngest lice,

And in my bathroom, he did more,

He missed my toilet, and nailed the floor,

I grabbed that ferret by the tail, and escorted him out my door.

ICHY, STICKY, YICKY FLOOR

I decided to sweep the floor,

It had never been done before,

But, the floor was so sticky,

My broom got all ichy,

So, I ruged the place from door to door.  

THE TRAP ON THE GREEN

My Venus Fly Trap kills the flies,

It even eats the little guys,

It is so sad,

I feel so bad,

I cannot look them in the eyes.

RUG RASH AND BITE

I got a rash and an itch when I fell asleep on my rugs,

It seems my rugs are all filled with big, biting bugs,

They ate all my blood, my sweat, and my tears,

They even consumed the wax in my ears,

They ate up my whole body, so don't bother with hugs.

BY MY HOUSE ON A HILL WAS A TREE

By my house on a hill was a tree,
I cut the tree down but, I should have left the tree be,
For, the tree held up the hill,
My house made a topple-down spill,
And, I was buried beneath the hill, house and tree.