MY PRIORITIES ARE BOWLING AND BEER

I sleep away my afternoons,

I sleep away my mornings,

I sick call everyday to work,

Despite my bosses' warnings,

If my financials weren't dire,

I would call my boss and retire,

I would put time into what feels so right,

That is league bowling, at the bar all night.

THE IN-LAWS AND MOBY DICK

My awful in-laws have eaten all the worms in my pail,

I needed the worms to go fishing, to catch me a whale,

It just is not funny,

Those worms cost me money,

And in under three minutes, the fishing boat will set sail.

TITANS OF TETHER BALL

I chose 13 winners for my lethal tether ball team

We were gonna be the greatest of champs, so it did seem,

We knocked competition to the floor,

Until they would beg for no more,

We won every match; "meanies", our opponents would scream.

A POINTLESS DAY RIVER FISHING

Donny went river fishing in his fibreglass canoe,

It had a couple of small leaks, because it was not new,

Donny didn't get bites that day,

He paddled down to the bay,

He did find a shinny stone, with a sparkle that was blue.

HERBIE DERBY DO.

Cute little lad, Herbie,

Wore a big derby,

Hung his stylish hat,

On his baseball bat,

When he was spooning with Mrs. Zerbie.

MURPHY HAS A GLOW

Mr. Murphy has a unique nose,

Although he's fifty, it still grows,

At a boxing event,

He got his big nose bent,

And after the pub, his nose glows.

TETHERBALL WARRIOR

It was nearly, half past nine,

That is prime tetherball time,

I did battle, for first place,

Then, I got whacked in the face,

Now, through a straw I must dine.

THE APPLESAUCE FROG BAIT

I opened a can of applesauce, and found a little frog,

The frog was cooked and mummified, sitting in a saucy bog,

I did not at all hesitate,

Picked out the frog to use for bait,

He caught me a fine sunfish, hiding beneath a hemlock log.

GERTY GOT DIRTY, ONE SUMMER DAY

I went white water rafting, one sunny day,

The river was yucky with swirling red clay,

My little dog, named Gerty,

Got her face all dirty,

I washed her face off, once we got to the bay.

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HAPPY CAMPER KELLY

Kelly the happy camper, camps up north in the early springs,

Kelly roasts marshmallows, and does other happy camper things,

Sometimes he catches little fish,

Breaks their small bones, and makes a wish,

When Kelly is done breaking fish bones, he sits around and sings.

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GASSY SNOWMAN PART ONE

I put beans in my snowman, to see if he would get gassy and grow,

Low and behold he farted, and the fart had a big yellowish glow,

I didn't know whatever to do,

Snowman farting is something new,

I decided to ignore, and gave the snowman a tie with a bow.

HENRY IS SICK

Henry ate a great big plate of green, raw, frozen clams,

Henry barfed at the fun party at the house of Sam's,

Henry walked his way back home,

Past where was the Silverdome,

Henry remembered the Lions win, against the Rams.

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BARRY THE BLUE BOOMERANG TRAVELS OFF TO RED MARS

Barry the blue boomerang, was tornadoed into space,

Barry, the first space boomerang, had gained one famous face,

With the good luck of the stars,

Barry would soon be on mars,

Where he hoped to retire, and settle and find a place.

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LEON DREAMS

Leon was sure he could trampoline all the way to mars,

Leon fell off his trampoline and he visited the stars,

The stars were red, green and blue,

Some squares, and triangles too,

And, everywhere that Leon went, they drove electric cars.

LAKE SHARKS

There are sharks in all Michigan lakes,

They attack tourists on vacation breaks,

A shark took off my leg,

So, I carves me a peg,

Now, I hunt them to.get me some steaks.

THE ICE SKATES OF DEATH

I got some new ice skates, and went out on the ice to skate,

I went out fifty feet, and fell through the ice on the lake,

Beneath the ice I couldn't swim,

Soon the lights were growing dim,

Then my clock alarm rang, and I was safe in bed, awake.

A DOCTOR WHO SATURDAY

It's Saturday, and I don't know what to do,

Maybe I will visit buffalo at the zoo,

I guess I'll go to the beach,

There, volleyball I will teach,

Then I'll head home to watch Doctor Who.

I CAUGHT IT FROM A BEAVER

I had case of dengue fever, but methinks it went away,

I caught it from a beaver, I kissed, while boating on the bay,

Catching it was one bad folly,

It made me feel melancholy,

Anytime you catch the dengue fever, you will rue on that day.

WOE UNTO THE BEARS

There were three bears, not use to woeing,

They traveled in a tin boat, by rowing,

They came to some falls,

They made, "Help, Help", calls,

Alas, over those falls they were going.

TROMBONE SUZIE

Trombone Suzie was in the college marching band,

Trombone Suzie marched across college football land,

When Trombone Suzie played,

Her school spirit was displayed,

On all social media, Suzie got fanned and fanned.