SID THE PRAYING MANTIS

There was a Praying Mantis named Sid,
He stayed most perfectly hid,
When a bug came along,
The bug had sung it's last song,
And, Sid could feed his mom, wife and kid.

41121

A SWAMP LIZARD NAMED IKE

There was a swamp lizard named Ike,
He hated all those on a bike,
They’d run over his tail,
That made poor Ike Wail,
Now on Thursday he visits his psych.

12916

MARNIE THE MOUSE AND HER PEAS

Marnie the mouse liked to shuck peas,
She cooked them up to eat with her cheese,
But, along came the farmer,
He wanted to harm her,
She got away running right through his knees.


Peas were Marnie's favorite treat,
Peas were fun to shuck and great to eat,
She stole from a farmer who had big feet,
He reached for her, and she ran under his seat.

11321

DRIFTY THE ROBIN

There was a robin named Drifty,
His eyes were real big and shifty,
When Herman the worm,
Decided to Squirm,
Drifty thought his next meal looked nifty.

Drifty liked to head up north,
To spend his summers after the Fourth,
But when the winter winds blew and blew,
Drifty headed south with his girlfriend Sue.

61822

LYNN THE WALRUS TOOK SAUNA BATHS LIMERICK

There once was a walrus named Lynn,
She took hot sauna baths to get thin,
But, on an all you can eat dinner date,
She ate and she ate,
Then, she gained eighty pounds for her sin.

71811

RICHIE THE RATTELSNAKE

Richie was a real vicious rattlesnake,
He lived in Michigan near Skegemog Lake,
When Cindy had too much ale,
She stepped on Richie's tail,
Richie bit her and even went to her wake.

10314

THE MEAN BLUE BIRD NAMED JAY-Limerick

There was a big blue bird named Jay,
He chased all the small birds away,
An eagle dropped by,
He ate Jay on the fly,
No one helped Jay on that day.

Jay was a really mean old bird,
He only screamed and said not a word,
When an eagle named Heather,
Ate Jay beak and feather,
Jay's screams was all anyone heard.

No one was sad to see Jay gone,
He was mean from dawn to dawn,
For his memorial day,
Nothing good could one say,
At the wake they had salt licks and prawn.

33022

BIRDIE BRONSON THE PHEASANT

Birdie Bronson was a pet pheasant,
She lived on a farm near Mt. Pleasant,
She spotted a worm,
He started to squirm,
This was like saying that food was present.

Birdie Bronson the pheasant loved her bugs,
Though she never gave them kisses and hugs,
She bit them in two,
So she could chew,
Eating them by the bushels and lugs.

3922

A MEANER BEAR LIMERICK

A meaner bear I never saw,
Than the one in the woods near Mackinac,
He attacked my camp site,
Ate my fish in one bite,
Then on my tires he started to gnaw.

1123

THE ANIMAL LANGUAGES RHYME

My turtle named Herman could speak only German,
My pet fish Louise spoke just Japanese,
My little pet finch could speak only French,
My dolphin named Wendy only spoke Hindi,
My pet snake named Vanish spoke nothing but Spanish,
My big goose named Maelic just spoke words in Gaelic,
My tame honey bees conversed Portuguese,
My doggy named Patton knew no words but Latin,
And, Albert the cat just listened and sat.    

22024

MARK THE BEAVER LIMERICK

There was a big beaver named Mark,
He built damns from morning til dark,
Some days he would wish,
He was just a fish,
Then, he’d just play and swim in the park.

LITTLE WIGGINS THE PIG POEMS

Little Wiggins the pig was not very smart,
He borrowed lots of money to buy a go-cart,
Little Wiggins didn't work,
So, like a real jerk,
He didn't pay for his cart from the start.

Little Wiggins the pig lived on a farm,
Little Wiggins the pig did nobody harm,
But, Wiggins ran up some debt,
And, made farmer Joe upset,
Now, Joe wears a pigtail as a charm.

P06302022

MY CHIMNEY

My chimney is impossible to clean,
I spent the winter burning wood too green,
It caused a big fire,
Burnt the house down entire,
Now the chimney is the only thing seen.

P12172022

DUMPY THE HOUND HAD A HEART FULL OF JOY

Dumpy the hound had a heart full of joy,
He had an owner named Thad who was a real depressed boy,
Dumpy got Thad to play,
Which made Thad happy that day,
So Thad bought Dumpy a really neat toy.

My dog named Dumpy sure likes to chew,
He chewed up my car seats and my car is brand new,
I got Dumpy a chew toy,
But he was a very bad boy,
He chewed my shoes up so, I’m shoeless too.

P08032022

THE LITTLE PIGGY POEM

LITTLE PIGGY, LITTLE PIGGY
Little piggy, little piggy your cuteness is lame,
You are not housebroken and therefor not tame,
No matter how you are trained you end up the same,
You crap on the floor, and you won't take the blame.

THERE WAS A ROCKBASS NAMED MURKY

There was a rock bass named Murky,
When he swam he swam really Jerky,
He swam over a dam,
Did a forehead slam,
Now he thinks that he is a turkey.

PP090823

WILLY WITH FEW NEEDLES

There was a red pine tree named Willie,
He had few needles and looked silly,
All the other trees,
Did nothing but tease,
The near naked tree nick named Billy.

Willie was a red pine tree,
He grew real tall so he could see,
But, the great sacrifice,
Made things turn out not nice,
Willies needles poored down like a sea.

A LIMERICK OF LYNN (THE WALRUS)

There once was a walrus named Lynn,
She couldn’t fit through her door when open,
So, she stuck dynamite,
By her belly so tight,
Now, she’s missed by her kith and her kin.

121823

BEDBUG LIMERICK, HAIKU AND, POEM

BEDBUG LIMERICK
Jason found some bed bugs that were sucking on his knee,
He picked them off one at a time and let each bug go free,
George visited Jason at his house,
George brought bugs home to his spouse,
Bed bugs suck anyone’s blood and spread real easily.

BEDBUG HAIKU
Bedbugs bad suck blood,
Burn the cloths. Burn the beds too,
Nature’s nastiest.

BEDBUG POEM
You’ve never lived through a terrifying storm,
Until you’ve lived to watch the bedbugs swarm,
They race towards you because your blood is warm,
This is the lot you’ll face in a college dorm,

Bedbugs drink your blood and could not be meaner,
As your blood flows out you will become leaner,
Their bloodsucking jaws could not look obscener,
You just wish your roommate had been a bit cleaner,

Bedbugs, bedbugs in the very dark of night,
Causing all this mayhem and excessive fright,
As to your new digs just you don’t get too tight,
Cause we’re bringing them down with homemade dynamite.

I GRABBED A WILD TURKEY BY THE BEAK

I grabbed a wild turkey by the beak,
I thought it would stay calm but, boy did it freak,
It squawked a turkey alarm,
Then, it bit off my arm,
Now, a doctor is just what I seek.