THE PERCH THAT BEGGED HAD NO LEGS

The big perch I caught last night, had a big yellow belly,

His lips, tight as wires, and he was awfully smelly,

The perch begged and said, "Please, Please, Please,

If I had legs, I'd be on my knees,

Let me go and your kindness, I'll broadcast like a telly."

Epilogue

Fish tastes so good with lemon, and a dusting of white pepper and sea salt.

HAPPY CAMPER KELLY

Kelly the happy camper, camps up north in the early springs,

Kelly roasts marshmallows, and does other happy camper things,

Sometimes he catches little fish,

Breaks their small bones, and makes a wish,

When Kelly is done breaking fish bones, he sits around and sings.

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I TOOK OUT MY BOAT TO SLAUGHTER FISH

Out upon a bit of sea water,
I took my boat for fish to slaughter,
But, I hit a big wave,
Found a watery grave,
Where I fed a hungry sea otter.

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LAKE SHARKS

There are sharks in all Michigan lakes,

They attack tourists on vacation breaks,

A shark took off my leg,

So, I carves me a peg,

Now, I hunt them to.get me some steaks.

MR. TWO FISH TALKS LOSING WEIGHT

The three perch I caught would have made a real nice meal,

But the one good sized perch I caught, my cat did steal,

I gave my cupboard a good search,

Found no food to go with my perch,

Guess I'll lose some weight, now that dieting is my deal.

TOO LITTLE

Too Little rode on a too little trike,

Until Too Little stole a too little motorbike

Too Little stole the mail,

But what sent Too Little off to jail,

Too Little was caught with two too little pike.

LITTLE MEN WENT FISHING

Seven little men walked way out upon the frozen lake,

They had gone there to see how many fishies they could take,

Three of the men, they drowned,

Three more froze, searchers found,

The last little man went home, and had scrambled eggs and stake.

THE BIG ONE THAT FLIP FLOPPED AWAY

I had forty-one bluegill, but one got away,

He flipped, and he flopped himself back into the Bay,

I was really mad,

That gill done me bad,

He was the biggest one, I had caught all darn day.

THE KILLER PUMPKIN AND THE MINNOWS

I saw a giant pumpkin, eating a fisherman, by the sea,

The fisherman had a minnow bucket, so I set the minnows free,

I decided to roast the pumpkin, thought it'd taste good with my tea,

But, all I had to flavor the pumpkin, was a half jar of suspect ghee,

I should of kept the minnows, because they might have been tasty. 

CY THE LITTLE FISH MEETS GYM

Gym caught a little fish, the fish called himself Cy,

Cy flipped and flopped, he begged, said he didn't want to die,

Gym said, "oh that is nice",

Then added some tart spice, 

And, dropped Cy into the fry pan to fry.

BENNY AND THE SALMON RUN

Benny was waiting, with his bow, arrows and quiver,

As the mighty king salmon, went running up river,

Benny took an easy shot,

At a big salmon, half-rot,

Shooting dead fish, made meals easier to deliver.

I CAUGHT A SALMON

I caught a salmon, in the early fall

It was off a pier, near an old strip mall,

I will often shop there,

Buy color, for my hair,

And buy nails, to hang my fish on the wall.

THE DARDEVLE CAUGHT THE MONSTER

I used the mighty Dardevle to catch me a big fish,

It was an enormous pike, and was a bucket list wish,

It darn near snapped, my wire line,

But, an intervention divine,

A lightning strike on the pike, fried the fish for my dish.

BACON GREASE SHORTAGE TANKS MICHIGAN ECONOMY

I got a card from Michigan, and this is what it said,

That everyone in Michigan, no longer ate fried bread,

A bacon grease shortage was the blame,

Canola oil, don't taste the same,

Bait shops worry arteries won't plug, then our worms won't get fed.

SNAGGING LUNKERS FOR BUNKERS FOR CASH LIMERICK

My fishing hook snagged a lunker,

It was a 1973 AMC klunker,

But, I was not unhap,

Thought I could sell it for scrap,

Sold as art for a billionaire's bunker.

MARY LOVED EATING CRAWDADS

Mary loved eating crawdads,

She found them in rivers under stumps,

But, if she ate too many crawdads,

Her hands swelled up with bumps,

When Mary ate lots of crawdads,

She became sweaty and quite wheezy,

Then, her throat would greatly swell up,

And, her food did not go down so easy,

So, Mary quit eating crawdads,

She now eats just tadpoles,

She figures whether it's amphibians or crustaceans,

Their flesh tastes great as does their souls.

YOU EITHER FISH FOR SUPPER OR WITH SUPPER

My fishing rig,

A plastic worm on a jig,

Caught a fish,

Don't I wish,

Super is a plastic worm and a cig.

WHERE I GO PERCHING

Murky is the water where I catch my perch,

It's just a drainage ditch out near the canyon's old stone church,

It isn't all that far,

Driving out there with my car,

But, there's no phone so trouble could leave me in a lurch. 

Fishing Buddies Caught The Big One

Jamie had a big fish on his fishing line,

Jerked, and jerked the pole held up just fine,

Joey held the net,

Hard, the fish was to get,

And, fast went the fish at a dinner with wine.

MY WORM BAIT LIMERICK

I thought I'd go fishing so, I picked up some worms,

I thought I'd catch keepers on my living bait terms,

But, the big fish weren't hard hitting,

My worms they were spitting,

I caught just minnows instead of large pachyderms.