THE TOAST GHOST

Mr. Eddie was a mean, nasty, old ghost,

He liked to paint pictures on my French toast,

He used my berry jelly,

A gift from aunt Ellie,

His paintings of spiders, scarred me the most.

Fred's Last Wish

There was a voice echoing in my brainy head,

Turned out it was actually, my dead pet guppy, Fred,

He told me he had just one wish,

That I would never eat a fish,

So all my cans of tuna went to my bulldog, Zed.

MY SPOUSE AND I GOT SEPARATED, BUT I'M STILL BEING BULLIED, LIMERICK

I heard a echo in my house,

It was the voice of Jingles, my late spouse,

Jingles said to me,

" You'll never be free,"

And "flush the toilet sometime, you louse".