THE GROCERY APOCALYPSE

The grocery prices are so high; it is bad, not good,

Neighbors are now cannibals; it is not safe in my hood,

The bugs under my door,

Are my only food store,

I've sent the wife out to a stump; there's termites in the wood.

BIG SPLAT AND THE COYOTE

My parachute did not open, and now I'm just a mess,

I jumped from an airplane, and fell under a great duress,

I made an enormous, gross splat,

Like when my windshield hit that bat,

Will someone find me before the coyote?  Take a guess.

THE HEADLESS NIGHT TERROR

I saw a ghost in the hall, with a big sharp ax, and he was blood red,

He was dripping blood on my floor, and missing his natural, human head,

I said, "please, Mr. Ghost, go away,

I just cannot take this, today,"

The ghost lifted his ax; a voice filled the room, "I'm taking your head, hooray!"

WHY I'M HIDING IN THE BARN

There was a goblin in my shower,

He was nine feet tall, that goblin tower,

He was all teeth and scales,

So, I made screams and wails, 

Then, I ran to the barn where I cower. 

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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE ZOMBIE

I'm Herschel, a two foot tall zombie, and I lurk in the woods,

I only eat the brains of pesky, Little Red Riding Hoods,

Red Hoods are very good to eat,

They tingle the toes on my feet,

Their brains are candy tasty, like vanilla banana puds. 

THE SUBURBAN LEGEND OF THE TURD

I have a thriving business, that sucks out your stinky, septic tank,

The sewage is for me, an investment in my money market, bank,

One day, there rose from a tank, dead,

A cold turd monster, some call Fred,

I smacked Fred hard on the head with my shovel, and down, the big turd sank.

SAND BEACH SUMMER PARK AND THE DRAGON

A dragon walked into the Sand Beach Summer Park,

He chewed on the visitors, until it got dark,

As the last person got chewed,

The dragon didn't see more food,

He meandered to the woods, to gnaw on some bark.

I INCUBATE THE EGGS, FOR THOSE THAT HAVE BUG LEGS

It was mid-July, and the horizon star drowned, and bugs came out to deep bite,

They started biting my toes, and ended in my hair; that is my entire height, 

I bathed in a bug killer spray,

The carnivores stayed, anyway, 

The bugs kept chewing, deep into my skin; they laid their eggs, and no, I'm not right.

THE HOLIDAY ELF FROM BEL

Friday The Thirteenth, is every time,  such a big hassle,

Everyone is fear filled, so they hold down in their castle,

But, the creature with crunching jaws,

Tightest buns, and long, sharp claws,

Will appear this night, wearing only, a pointy hat and tassel. 

EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY, GOT CANNED

The next door, family of cannibals, put me, and my family in jars,

We were all set in front of a window, so at night, we can all watch the stars,

We're together, that's not, so bad,

But, as they eat each jar, that's sad,

There's always a chance, the cannibals will be found out, and soon be behind bars.

STANDING IN A GRAVEYARD AT MIDNIGHT: WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

I heard some movement underground, out amongst the rows of graves,

I saw hands pierce the wet earth, as the dead left their coffin caves,

I was quite vexed,

My feet froze, hexed,

The dead came walking forward, moving forward at me in waves.

THE GREAT BAY SERPENT.

There's a serpent living out in our great bay,

In the winter, that's where the serpent will stay,

Don't go out in a boat,

 He will sense where you float,

The serpent torments and eats boaters for play.

THE HOT PRAWN FROM OUTER SPACE

Big Bang Berry, is the hot prawn from outer space,

If you get him mad, he'll breath fire in your face,

He's from the celestial bang,

Part of the evil demon gang,

He's come to earth, and will destroy the human race.

                             HAPPY NEW YEAR

                                         2025

THE SIGN OF EVIL

I saw the sign of evil, I fear the most,

Six big locusts landed on my whole wheat toast,

My lower jaw made a sag,

Then I drooled on my dish rag,

I knew that by nightfall, I would be a ghost.

DADDY SELLS MEDICAL SUPPLIES, AND MOMMY WANTS HER CUT

Daddy sells appendages like human fingers and human toes,

Surprising what rich people pay, for a pretty human nose,

Organs are where the money's at,

My mommy tells my daddy that,

Mommy has gotten more involved, as daddy's business grows.

THE BEAST OF SUMER VALLEY

The beast that lives in Sumer Valley,

Eats the peasants, quite a tally,

He will jelly them for toast,

Or for dinner, a lamb roast,

With pitchforks and torches, the peasants will rally.

FEEDING THE WEREWOLF

I was out in my garden, sitting in my summer seat,

Waiting for the werewolf, for he was coming for his meat,

I heard a crackling in the wood,

Behind me, the werewolf stood,

I felt his hot breath, his teeth, and he proceeded to eat.

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RISE OF THE DREADED DEAD

As we summoned up the dead,

All the sky turned bloody red,

With our sacrifice, the demons were fed,

They drank the blood from the severed head,

Then from the graves the corpses were led,

To stalk the living and bring them dread,

While the living slumber in quiet bed,

Making pretty dreams, instead.

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SNOW WOLF

The bad wolf was so white, he blended in with the snow,

He crept up behind me, everywhere that I'd go,

As I fell to my knees,

I felt the most cold breeze,

The wolf's ripping and tearing was forever, so slow.

I POEMED THE ZOMBIES

In the streets the zombies roamed, 

Their mouths were drooling while nostrils foamed,

But, I valued my hide,

So, I stayed inside,

And, the zombie saga I poemed.