THE MEAN BLUE BIRD NAMED JAY-Limerick

There was a big blue bird named Jay,
He chased all the small birds away,
An eagle dropped by,
He ate Jay on the fly,
No one helped Jay on that day.

Jay was a really mean old bird,
He only screamed and said not a word,
When an eagle named Heather,
Ate Jay beak and feather,
Jay's screams was all anyone heard.

No one was sad to see Jay gone,
He was mean from dawn to dawn,
For his memorial day,
Nothing good could one say,
At the wake they had salt licks and prawn.

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THE CAVE OF GENTLE BEN, NOT!

Methinks that I heard a wren,

As I passed a forest glen,

I got very brave,

I entered a cave,

Found a bear, not Gentle Ben! 😦🤕

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WHEN THE FIRST BIRDS BUILT A NEST JIMMY CHEERED

When the first birds built a nest Jimmy cheered,
For the winter lasted longer than he feared,
His food was all gone,
He had no stuff left to pawn,
All he had left was to chew on his beard.

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MY BIRD SONG

Many birds are here this spring,

Doing their tweet and pecking thing,

Building nests beneath roofs, in trees,

All busy parents the shes and hes,

Seeds and bugs to their young they bring,

And, joy to the babies moms and daddies sing.

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MY CHICKEN LEG AND GEESE LIMERICK

I sat on a park bench, and did sup with the geese,

I chewed a leg of chicken, then threw them a piece,

The geese all honked and they  hooped

Then on the sidewalk, they pooped,

Oh, the wonders of nature, will they ever cease?

THE PERPETRATOR HAD WINGS II

My parrot would fly, and knock over ma's high priced lamps,

Parrot scratched cousin Paul, and bit the ear off poor gramps,

What a criminal mind,

Common with his winged kind,

I chased Parrot out the door, he can go live with tramps.

THE PERPETRATOR HAD WINGS

I have a sneaky canary named Chirp,

He steals things, so he is a perp,

He stole my popcorn,

For his cage, to adorn,

I locked his cage; he hated it, the twerp

BYE, BYE BIRDIE, TIGER GO DOWN

A tiger was climbing way, way up high in a tall tree,

He was after a sparrow, but that bird flew off to sea,

When the giant tiger found,

He was too high off the ground,

He jumped from the high branches, hurt his right paw, but was free.

CONDOR JIMMY RUNS NO MORE

Jimmy was a mighty condor, who ate old potato buns,

But every time he ate them, Jimmy Condor got the runs,

Jimmy took some pills,

To cure his nasty ills,

Now when Jimmy does evacuate, he drops bricks weighing tons.

THURMOND'S TELESCOPE IS FOR THE BIRDS

Thurmond's telescope made the news one day,

When Thurmond saw spacecrafts heading our way,

After networks broadcast his words,

The spacecrafts turned out to be birds,

There was a crow, a dove and blue jay.

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MOZART'S TIT SINGS

There was a little titmouse chirping in a tree,

The little titmouse chirped and chirped, a Mozart melody,

It was the Turkish March in C,

He chirped repeatedly,

Now that tune repeats in my head, and my brain cells can't break free.

DUCK AND A STORY

I have this wonderful duck, his name is Stew,

I bought him, and cooked him in a pot for you,

He's nice and tender,

Saved his fat to render,

After lunch we'll finish reading Bunny Blue.

ANOTHER HOLIDAY VISITOR

There was an evil raven in my house; he flew in through my door,

He started a conversation, that I decided, best to ignore,

Then he pecked upon my head,

I hit him hard, and he was dead,

So we ate raven for Thanksgiving, and he tasted like a s'more.

THE CANARY AND THE RAVEN, A CAUTIONARY TALE

I had a big pet raven, and he liked to eat canary,

He used to eat them by the bunch, like a small, yellow berry,

The canary birds worked together,

Netted my raven in bad weather,

Then they roasted and ate him in a scene that was real scary. 

THE TURTLE, NORM AND ME

I was a ship captain and, my ship sank out on the sea,

The only two survivors were my parrot Norm, and me,

We swam to a deserted island spot,

That is as far as we ever got,

A sea turtle became our friend, and there we lived, all three.

THE PERCH OF WINSTON CHURCH

Before Benny went back to school, he said, "bye", to Winston Church,

Winston is a parakeet, who sits and poops upon his perch,

Benny left Winston food to eat,

Filled Winston's water, and left a treat,

Some days when Winston gets real board, he does a Google search.

STACKS OF SNACKS PLAN, GOES AWRY

Jimbo liked his potato snack,

He bought them by the case to stack,

But, then one day,

A flood took them away,

Now, the snacks feed the critters that go "quack, quack".

I LOVED MY BIRDIE

I loved my birdie, more than I loved my mommy named Flo, 

Mommy left his cage door open, and out birdie did go,

He flew fast and away,

Where he went, I can't say,

I was so.mad at mommy, I told my daddy named Beau. 

THE LITTLE BIRD NAMED CHURBA

Churba is a little bird, and he makes a churbing sound,

Whenever I hear churbing, I know that Churba, is around,

Churba likes to eat cheddar cheese,

I sit it out, for Churba, to please,

Along with some tasty prunes, so Churba won't get bound.🧀🐦

CREMATION: IT'S NOT JUST FOR POOR GRANDPAS ANYMORE

When my birdie died there was a health concern,

So his remains, I was ordered to "quick, burn",

He went into the fire of no return,

Except for ashes in an urn,

Now he sits upon my mantle, next door to grandpa Vern.