LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
dirty
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
dirty
.
Show all posts
Sunday, August 18, 2024
FISHING IN THE NOW AND CLEANING DIRTY HANDS
My bucket is full of minnows, and my can is full of worms,
My lunchbox is full of candy; my hands are covered with germs,
I am fishing in my boat,
Eating candy while afloat,
I wash my hands off in the lake; they are clean, my eye confirms.
Tuesday, July 2, 2024
VERBAL ABUSE AND I LEAVE
My boots are all covered with wet mud,
Walked into the house; got called a crud,
I have no real common sense,
But I took a big offence,
I left for the beer bar for some sud.
Saturday, March 30, 2024
I WAS A CESSPOOL DIVER; NOT AN OLYMPIC SPORT
I went diving in a nasty cesspool, desperate to come clean,
It made my face all pucker up, so I used mamas Maybelline,
The cess got in my beautiful hair,
That's why my hair is no longer there,
I'll not enter a cesspool again, except in a submarine.
Sunday, July 3, 2022
THE BENCH PAINTS MY TRENCH
Pardon my stench,
But I sat on a bench,
Unlike my home stoop,
It was covered in poop,
The poop stuck to the back of my trench.
Monday, March 7, 2022
RUG RASH AND BITE
I got a rash and an itch when I fell asleep on my rugs,
It seems my rugs are all filled with big, biting bugs,
They ate all my blood, my sweat, and my tears,
They even consumed the wax in my ears,
They ate up my whole body, so don't bother with hugs.
Tuesday, November 2, 2021
GRIEF FROM THE BEEF
I bought my family a big piece of beef,
Didn't know it would bring them constipation relief,
They used the stocks of toilet paper,
Painted porcelain, made bad vapor,
Clearance slimy beef is not worth the great grief.
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