THAT WICKED WITCH CAST A SPELL ON ME

My meanie wife was a little witch, and a little witch she was,

She cast spells on everyone, and her reason was just because,

She turned my kinfolk into toads,

They all got run over, on the roads,

Just because I crashed the car last last night, she siced on me the fuzz.

THE GREAT ANN ARBOR DRAGON

The great Ann Arbor Dragon turned himself into stone,

For he ate sixty tons of pure, crunchy human bone,

What's acceptable to eat,

Is only the human meat,

The skeleton we use to make a nice candle scone.

I EAT PETS AND OTHER YUMMY THINGS

I'm eating the beagles, I'm eating the frogs, 

I'm eating the things that crawl under logs,

I ate the goldfish,

The kids named it Trish,

I even ate snakes where everyone jogs.

BEAR TRAP

A griz set a bear trap in front of my front door,

When J stepped into the bear trap, my foot got sore,

I yelled really loud,

Didn't attract a crowd,

Then the grizzly bear ate, until I was no more.

WHEN THE BEAR POUND, I GO UNDERGROUND

I heard a loud pound, pound, pounding on my door in back,

It was a grizzly bear, wanting his afternoon snack,

The old grizzly wanted me,

To digest in his belly,

I hid in the basement, because courage I did lack.

SHARKS IN LAKE MICHIGAN

I went out on Lake Michigan and got bit by a shark,

I did not feel any pain, then it suddenly went dark,

I woke up in the sharks belly,

Being made into poop jelly,

Far off in the distance, I heard my pet doggy, bark, bark...

THE INSATIABLE COUGAR LIMERICK

A cougar kept scratching at my door,

I fed him the kids, but he wanted more,

So I let him into my house,

He scarfed down my spouse,

Then he bit off my head, I feel sore. 

I FED MY PET UNTIL I WAS INSANE

I once had a pet  blood sucker named Pete,

Only my blood Pete would eat,

And as Pete grew much fatter,

I became mad as a hatter,

Lack of blood caused my brain to delete.

THE SAD BEAR AND HIS BELLY

There's a sad looking bear under my apple tree,

He ain't eating apples, he's waiting for me,

I'd give him a hug,

And pull him close, snug,

But I'd end up in the bears growling belly.

BAD WOOD

Will went out in the forest to carve some wood,

Will found a branch, he carved it good,

He carved a fighting stick,

But a wolf broke it quick,

Then Will was like nana, in Red Riding Hood.

MY NUBS AND THE THREE BEARS

Along came two cutie bear cubs,

They were so cute I gave them intense belly rubs,

Then along came their maw,

She gave me her claw,

The three bears chewed me down to my nubs. 

BEARS

Bears are coming out of their hibernation,

Looking for tourists with a Michigan destination,

And those bears like to eat,

All the fresh tourist meat,

Chugging swamp water for their libation.