WHEN HUNGRY, I LOOK UNDER THE LAWNMOWER

I had nothing more to eat, but a slice of stale moldy bread,

I looked under the lawnmower, and found there a meal, instead,

There was snakeskin with some sticky meat,

And, cut grass with clover; what a treat,

I ate something; had two eyes; it was all red, fury and dead. 

NO PLACE TO BUY FOOD, JUST LAWYERS

I was really happy when I moved to the zip code that ended in 67,

There was a 7-11 store, right next door, so I felt like I was in heaven,

I use to buy my liquor and more,

At the old 7-11 store,

Last month they closed the store, and put in a law office, LEVIN, KEVIN AND BEVIN.

FROSTING AND THE BEAR ON SKATES

I spotted a bear on ice skates come zooming from across the lake,

He eyed me as I stuffed my mouth with frosting covered cake,

So, I dropped my cake and fled,

With hope I would not soon be dead,

The bear stoped to lick off the frosting, so my soul he did not take.

1223

MY MORAL DILEMMA: BURGS OR THE HAPPINESS OF COWS

I always have the chewing and eating of beef burgs, on my brain,

I feel that cattle are my victims; it's brain farts for the insane,

Why for cattle rights, I should care?,

Is a race memory, wiped bare?,

I'll continue eating cattle; wish them a good life with no pain.

BELLY, FOOD AND EYEBALLS

I cannot buy a pizza pie,

Because the price was raised too high,

The price of pop?

Too high, full stop,

My belly hurts; my eyeballs cry..

LICK THE CHALKBOARD NICE AND CLEAN

People have no meat and people have no gruel,

Kids lick chalk off the blackboard, for lunch at school,

This is a real poor town,

Unless, you wear the crown,

You live in a mansion with an indoor pool.

FAT CALORIES ARE BETTER THAN NO CALORIES

 I went to the grocery store, hoped to buy a giant can of beans,

I've got 15, very heavy kids to feed, and 9 of them are teens,

I was ready to load my van,

But, the store only had one can,

I fried the beans in chicken fat; the kids will have to live within means..

MY NEIGHBOR EATS DIGITS

Your neighbor next door down, knows,

That you have juicy fingers and toes,

As the neighbor's belly gets tight,

He'll definitely take a bite,

And back, your lost digit, never grows.

FAMILY VALUES, PEONIES AND MEAT

I taught my entire coup of chickens, to poop on the peonies,

Poop is a great fertilizer, and the resulting flowers, do please,

Peonies cover the families graves,

Ma, and Pa, and Great Grandpa Big Draves.

Nana ,Grandpa and Aunt Louise, are in the barn, in the meat, deep freeze.  

APARTMENT FIRE, BEAN SUPPER PROSPECTS? DIRE

All of my big brain was completely locked-in,

On getting some sweet, baked beans, out of a tin,

It's was a small, rusty can

The opener ran, and ran,

There was a fire, now I'll not get my din.

I ATE TOO MUCH AND GOT FAT

I have been eating the dogs and the cats,

And, the guano that falls from the cave bats,

I've eaten the things under logs,

Like bugs, snakes and frogs,

I've eaten so much, they're calling me, "Fats".

GOOBERS AND JOE

My kids are eating couch found goobers, because I'm all out of doe,

I went outside to dig for taters, but the tates are in deep snow,

At the top of the hill

I did spy a roadkill,

I will not tell the next door neighbors, that we dined on their cat, Joe.

FEEDING POOR KIDS POE

I was so darn hungry, I started eating fresh, fallen snow,

I flavored it with weed seeds, that didn't cause me poisoning, woe,

I flavored the kid's snow with lime juice,

Told them the the snow was magic goose,

Then I read to them "The Tell Tale Heart", by Edgar Allen Poe.

I'D EAT THE DOG'S AND CATS, BUT THE NEIGHBORS BEAT ME TO THEM

Prices are way high, and I can't shop for beer,

All of the good stuff, they cannot sell it here,

Can't afford chicken legs,

Forget about any eggs,

When I see a dead rat, I call that meat dear.

FOUR MOLE STEW

I dug up four, large ground moles, for my evening din, din,

I found a bottle of ketchup; overall a win, win,

I had to feed my cat, too,

To stretch, I made stew,

We ate our fine feast together; me and my pet cat, Flynn.  

American Cuisine, On The Road

I went out to scrape pavement, because I was hungry for sup,

Didn't know if the critter was a weasel, or someone's stray pup,

Too small for a bear,

Really, did not care,

Figured it would taste good mixed with noodles, and served in a cup.

TRIPPING BOARD ON MARS

I snuck onboard a counting down spaceship, that was heading into space,

I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it was a better place,

The spaceship took me up to Mars,

Where there's no pop or candy bars,

The only thing there is to do on Mars, is walk back and forth, and pace.

THE HOARD OF HALLOWEEN

I do not give out the trick or treats,

Just go away you kids, move your feets,

Winter grows near,

Candy grows dear,

With long winter months, I got to eats.

FINGER LICKING GOOD, FROM THE HEN HOUSE

I went to Newberry Town to buy some canned chicken,

They didn't have any there, for the price I was pickin',

I went out to my hen house,

All I found was a dead mouse,

Still, fried up in bacon grease, made that mouse finger lickin'.

TOUGH TIMES

When the groceries get gone and times get really hard,

Sometimes you eat supper from things found in the yard,

Sometimes you skip meat,

If there's no bugs to eat,

Sometimes you eat bark, if it's thin like a card.