American Cuisine, On The Road

I went out to scrape pavement, because I was hungry for sup,

Didn't know if the critter was a weasel, or someone's stray pup,

Too small for a bear,

Really, did not care,

Figured it would taste good mixed with noodles, and served in a cup.

TRIPPING BOARD ON MARS

I snuck onboard a counting down spaceship, that was heading into space,

I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it was a better place,

The spaceship took me up to Mars,

Where there's no pop or candy bars,

The only thing there is to do on Mars, is walk back and forth, and pace.

THE HOARD OF HALLOWEEN

I do not give out the trick or treats,

Just go away you kids, move your feets,

Winter grows near,

Candy grows dear,

With long winter months, I got to eats.

FINGER LICKING GOOD, FROM THE HEN HOUSE

I went to Newberry Town to buy some canned chicken,

They didn't have any there, for the price I was pickin',

I went out to my hen house,

All I found was a dead mouse,

Still, fried up in bacon grease, made that mouse finger lickin'.

TOUGH TIMES

When the groceries get gone and times get really hard,

Sometimes you eat supper from things found in the yard,

Sometimes you skip meat,

If there's no bugs to eat,

Sometimes you eat bark, if it's thin like a card.

THE DIET AND DEFIBRUILLLATOR BLUES

They used the defibrillator, to start Benny's heart back up,

He now must lower cholesterol, so no more bacon cheese steaks, for sup,

Although he almost died,

Old Benny had his pride,

He brags about eating greasy chips, while watching TV with his pup.

THE TURTLE FOOT FALSETTO

Billy had turtle feet,

He couldn't dance to a beat,

German opera he could sing,

A falsetto voice, he'd make ring,

Provided Billy had plenty to eat. 

FROSTING AND THE BEAR ON SKATES

I spotted a bear on ice skates come zooming from across the lake,

He eyed me as I stuffed my mouth with frosting covered cake,

So I dropped my cake and fled,

With hope I would not soon be dead,

The bear stoped to lick off the frosting, so my soul he did not take.

THE GOOD AND BAD WITCHES

Two little witches met way out in the wood

One was really bad, the other really good,

Their friendship was tight,

But the good witch did not bite,

The bad witch that bit, lived in a hungry hood.

THE ELF EATERS RHYME

There was a little elf,

His name was Sammy Sam,

Whenever he got hungry,

He ate a sandwich of cheese and ham,

There was a little elf,

His name was Billy Bill,

He ate only oatmeal cookies,

Upon the window sill,

There was a little elf,

Her name was Doreen Door,

She didn't care where or what she ate,

As long as there was more.

THE MEAL OF TEARS

Eddy had no money and felt beat,
He had been unemployed for years,
Eddy was homeless with nothing to eat,
His last meal was of tears,

Eddy was just a lonely dude,
Every one was for himself,
Each fighting for just any food,
Even rat droppings on a shelf,

One day Eddy had an idea so great,
He almost cracked a smile,
He decided not to hesitate,
But, act upon his guile,

Eddy stole a soda pop,
He stood in front of the store,
Soon there arrived a local cop,
He took Eddy out the door,

Now Eddy sleeps in a warm bed,
Each day he eats some food,
His personal blogs are well read,
On self help for the average dude,

Hunger with no place to stay,
They are our greatest fears,
But, when your incarcerated prey,
You'll have no more meals of tears.