THE RED PLANET FROZEN BARS

So, methinks I was headed up to Mars,

But my spaceship fell back down and crushed cars,

I got a lawsuit,

From each crushed toot, toot,

Now I deliver to stores ice cream bars.

ACCIDENTAL FOOD SUPPLY

Jimmy fell off the roof and broke all of his nice toes,

Jimmy cut each one of them off, now new ones he grows,

It is especially neat,

He grows new toes on his feet,

Jim now has winter meat, because the old toes he froze.

DANGEROUS JOURNEYS

Although I got electrocuted when I gave them just a touch,

My jumper cables did not jump my battery, very

much,

So I was stranded on the road,

Laying in electrocuted mode,

Then a big rig went whizzing by, and he did not engage his clutch.

I FELT OK UNTIL THE CLOWN

I decided to ride my motor scooter into town,

But I went way too slow, and I quickly got run down,

The first car really hurt,

The second caused blood squirt,

Then I was run over by a semi, driven by some clown.

BLIND TO WHAT LIES AHEAD

The fog was so thick, it blinded my eyes,

On the road ahead, I did not know what lies,

Well, it was a bear,

A grizzly affair,

The bear pulled me from the wreck, ate me, so I dies.

MY SNOW ADVENTURE LIMERICK OPUS 9

I had an adventure out in the snow,

It was drifting and drifting and it gave me a blow,

I did not feel fine,

For the blow broke my spine,

Now off in the ambulance I go.

A JOB OR A DITCH, I MUST CHOOSE WHICH

Slushy snow is all I know, and the world has turned to ice,

On icy roads I cannot go for my tires have caught ditches thrice,

I'll soon be on skidrow,

If I pay for one more tow,

But, if I skip work I'll suffer woe since my boss is not so nice.

STUBED BIG TOE HAIKU

Stubed big toe,pain,ouch!
Coffee table TV close,
Furniture makes move.

BRAIN SPLATTER: THE STATUE, TREE AND ME

I went and bought a statue and placed it under my tree,

The tree fell on my statue and worse, it fell on me,

My little brain cells got splattered,

My statue was all shattered,

My folks creamed us both together, and scattered us at sea.