LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
FOREST
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
FOREST
.
Show all posts
Saturday, October 19, 2024
GETTING REAL AND THE FLAGPOLE
My old burn barrel got way out of control,
Burning the woods down was never my real goal,
And Bigfoot got real mad,
And he made me real sad,
When he tied me to the top of the flagpole.
Wednesday, August 7, 2024
BEAVER HICKORY
There was a busy beaver that chewed on my hickory,
He chewed right through the hard, hardwood, then downward fell my tree,
It fell upon my crops,
Damaged my turnip tops,
*The beaver cut my big tree up, then hauled it out to sea.
*Version 2
The tree is too heavy to move...it rots out in the leigh.
Wednesday, June 12, 2024
THE SQUIRREL TALE
Jeb and Joey were two squirrels, who lived way up in a tree,
They were very happy sharing their nuts, while watching tv,
But something went real foul,
When along came the owl,
And chewed Joey chunks, fed the owl little babies, during tea.
Friday, May 24, 2024
EYE HOLE DIGGERS
Some ticks fell down from the heavenly, blue sky,
They fell from the dead willow tree; oh dear, my,
I ran to my hotrod,
But, no use was my bod,
I was blind, because they dug holes in each eye.
52424
Friday, April 12, 2024
THE BEAR AND THE MAYONNAISE
My mayonnaise had an odor, so I set it outside my backdoor,
A grizzly bear ate the whole jar, he died, with a whimper, and no roar,
My mayonnaise did the bear no good,
Poor big critter, from my neighborhood,
I took the empty jar into town, to get money back from the store.
41224
Saturday, February 3, 2024
WOLVES OF THE DRUID
There are these big, vicious wolves called alpha-males,
When I feed them people, the wolves wag their tails,
I'm a druid in the woods,
I feed wolves Red Ridding Hoods,
After dinner they sing in their howls and wails.
Saturday, January 20, 2024
SNOW WOLF
The bad wolf was so white, he blended in with the snow,
He crept up behind me, everywhere that I'd go,
As I fell to my knees,
I felt the most cold breeze,
The wolf's ripping and tearing was forever, so slow.
Friday, January 19, 2024
BEAR TRAP
They may smile, and seem quick to please,
Those bears skulking out beyond the trees,
They want a nice warm meal,
Walking meat has appeal,
When it comes to them with willing ease.
Wednesday, October 11, 2023
A BIG CAT BOUNCE
A great big snow tiger, chased frightened Santa in his sleigh,
The reindeer team had been drinking, and could not fly away,
When the big snow tiger pounced,
Off Santa's belly he bounced,
Into a train and Santa sang "Na, Na,Na, Na, Hey, Hey...".
Sunday, October 1, 2023
THE BEAR AND THE DINOSAUR EGG
I went into the deep, dark woods, and found a big dinosaur leg,
It was attached to a dinosaur, sitting on top of an egg,
The dinosaur was not hairy,
So, it was not very scary,
If it had been a hairy bear, then for my life I'd have to beg.
Wednesday, July 12, 2023
MY BREATH SMELLS LIKE MINTY MUNG BEANS
Canadian smoke fills my mouth and lungs,
It's tastes unpleasant, when trading tongues,
Each Canadian smoke shower,
Makes Honey taste bitter-sour,
I try to improve my breath, by chewing mint and mungs.
Wednesday, July 5, 2023
CROAK GOES THE WEASEL
I wish up in Canada, they'd stop the smoking,
So that people in Michigan, could stop choking,
It just ain't at all fair,
There's smoke clouds everywhere,
I saw a weasel gasp for air, I think he was croaking
Friday, June 30, 2023
THE CURSE OF THE TOADSTOOL
My foot stepped upon a toadstool, now I feel like a toad,
I have this inclination, to sun myself out in the road,
First I'll eat a couple bugs,
I'll juice them out with tongue hugs,
I'm trying to walk upright, but my legs are just too bowed.
Monday, June 19, 2023
IN THE FOREST OF THE BEARS
I wanted candy cigarettes but could find none, anywheres,
Then I heard tell those cigs were kept by two old woodsy bears,
At their cabin in the deep woods,
I found my candy cigarette goods,
They invited me for dinner and we ate piggies cooked real rares.
Thursday, June 15, 2023
BUG BITE TOURS
I'm a Michigan tourist guide, taking people to find swampy bugs,
It's a fab, fab tour, but you must bring lunch and a couple of jugs,
One jug for bugs; they're dear,
The other for warm beer,
And never wear false hair, for little crits like to dine under rugs.
Wednesday, December 7, 2022
THE FOREST MONKEY FOX
There was a giant monkey fox sitting in the woods,
He was chewing on the bones of some Red Ridding Hoods,
And, boy those bones were good,
Best parts of any Red Ridding Hood,
But, Red Ridding eyeballs taste great in milk chocolate puds.
Wednesday, July 27, 2022
THE FOUR ALARM FARM FIRE
In the general vicinity of the farm,
A fire broke out, four alarm,
The potatoes got baked,
The corn stalks were coal caked,
But, the livestock suffered no harm.
Friday, June 17, 2022
THE LITTLE DEMON DINNER PARTY
I went and found a demon, eating his dinner out in the wood,
He was chomping on someone's arms and legs, while smacking his lips real good,
He asked me if I'd sit down and sup,
I said, "no thanks", before I threw up,
The demon replied, " more for me", as I turned back towards my neighborhood.
Wednesday, April 27, 2022
I ALWAYS ENTER THE FOREST PREPARED
When I enter the forest I'm always prepared,
I'm ready to run for I keep myself scared,
And, I never fail,
To find the bunny trail,
Where wolves lie with their great big teeth bared.
Thursday, December 9, 2021
HOW I MAKE BEAR SCAT
I fell in a hole on top of a bear,
He was hibernating, so I didn't scare,
But here's the thing,
I took a nap until spring,
And woke up in the belly of the bear.
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