LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Humans
.
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Showing posts with label
Humans
.
Show all posts
Wednesday, April 3, 2024
QUIGLEY'S FAMILY CAME FROM OUTER SPACE
Quigley's family came from outer space,
They lacked human components like feet and face,
But, the world was fooled,
For the kids were home schooled,
While, the Quigleys dined on the human race.
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Friday, December 29, 2023
BLUE BALL IN LOVE
Tony liked his sports, if he could play with real blue balls,
So, he played at beaches searching for the best blue volleyballs
Soon he came upon his prince,
A body builder, named Blue Vince,
One was tall and one was short, but their overcame those walls.
Friday, November 3, 2023
WOLVES AREN'T BAD, BUT THEIR TEETH MAKE ME SAD
The big bad wolf chased me across the football field,
He wanted to catch, and eat me, but I wouldn't yield,
I knew he would soon start to eat,
When I felt his breath on my feet,
Then his teeth pierced my throat, and so my fate was sealed.
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
MY MARRIAGE ENDED, WHEN I WATCHED THE BARN BEARS
There were two bears in my barn, and they rolled in my hay,
I yelled and yelled at those bears, but they would not run away,
So I watched the bears play,
All the rest of the day,
Then along came my spouse, who doused us all with bear spray.
Friday, July 28, 2023
DULLES SMARTS ALONE
Dulles had an IQ over 180,
He could never find a best matey,
Humans would kiss and squirm,
Like a non-tactical worm,
Like the ones Dulles used for fish-baitey.
Wednesday, July 5, 2023
CROAK GOES THE WEASEL
I wish up in Canada, they'd stop the smoking,
So that people in Michigan, could stop choking,
It just ain't at all fair,
There's smoke clouds everywhere,
I saw a weasel gasp for air, I think he was croaking
Monday, June 26, 2023
TIN FOIL HAT PEOPLE NEED HELP
I ran out of tin foil, now the state owns my brain,
With no shinny tin hat, I'm completely insane,
To remember what's true,
On my tongue I must chew,
To keep my mind clear, I must suffer great pain.
Warning: Don't try this at home. It hurts.
Monday, December 12, 2022
ZOMBIE CAMP
There are lots of zombies living out on backwoods streets,
Waiting for tourist, seasonal treats,
So come stay a spell,
Where the real zombies dwell,
Free camping, if you bring someone for eats.
"COME ALONG FOR THE EATS"
Friday, August 26, 2022
I WENT EXTINCT FEEDING A BEAR
My species went extinct today,
Now I have no one with whom to play,
I found a bear,
But he didn't care,
He ate and swallowed me anyway.
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