MY ZAG AND MY ZIG AND MY JAZZ HARP GIG

I agreed with the highway when I made the zig,

I am afraid my zag was a mile too big,

My jeep made a fast roll,

I split body from soul,

I now play funky harp, when I get a jazz gig.

12321

TIMMY TESTED OUT OF DRIVERS ED

Timmy's mommy told Timmy that he had to do his best,

That's why Timmy used a cheating note, when he took a test,

But, when he tested for the road,

He did encounter one big toad,

His note had no answer, and Timmy chose a dirt nap rest.

A BIG CAT BOUNCE

A great big snow tiger, chased frightened Santa in his sleigh,

The reindeer team had been drinking, and could not fly away,

When the big snow tiger pounced,

Off Santa's belly he bounced,

Into a train and Santa sang "Na, Na,Na, Na, Hey, Hey...".

THE ACETAMINOPHEN BLUES

I ordered acetaminophen, and got it in the mail,

I took acetaminophen, drove my car, and went to jail,

They said I was intoxicated,

By some numbers I was rated,

I'll be spending the weekend here, because I have no funds to make the bail.

I GOT MY LICENCE, SO I'M NOT ON THE BOTTOM

My driver's licence has been renewed,

Without it, I would have been subdued,

I'd be held tight to the bottom,

When the road cops yelled, "we've got 'em",

In jail I'd be a boohoo sad, dude.

BLIND TO WHAT LIES AHEAD

The fog was so thick, it blinded my eyes,

On the road ahead, I did not know what lies,

Well, it was a bear,

A grisly affair,

The bear pulled me from the wreck, ate me, so I dies.

ICY ROADS AND I SEE DEAD PEOPLE

I slid my pickup off the road today into a ditch, and bammy,

I got a little concussion, so excuse me if I sound whammy,

It was a surprise,

My life flashed before my eyes,

I was even greeted by my dear, departed grammy. 

I BRAKE FOR BUGS

I don't likes trees, bears, bugs or, snakes,

If I see the aforementioned I slam on my brakes,

I don't care if I skid,

Flip over on my lid,

I avoid the confrontation whatever it takes.

THE TEXTING WHILE DRIVING LIMERICK

Texting and driving I just overdo,
That's why I crashed into the  bear cage at the Big City Zoo,
Then, all the bears left their cage,
Went on an eating rampage,
Now, the victim's families are threatening to sue. 

THE TEXTING WHILE DRIVING LIMERICK

Texting and driving I just overdo,
That's why I crashed into the  bear cage at the Big City Zoo,
Then, all the bears left their cage,
Went on an eating rampage,
Now, the victim's families are threatening to sue.