GETTING REAL AND THE FLAGPOLE

My old burn barrel got way out of control,

Burning the woods down was never my real goal,

And Bigfoot got real mad,

And he made me real sad,

When he tied me to the top of the flagpole. 

JIMMY THIRTY-FIVE TOES DOES HALLOWEEN

Jimmy thirty-five toes does not dress up for Halloween,

Jimmy goes barefoot, so his many toesies can be seen,

Jimmy definitely knows,

As his story grows and grows,

Jimmy will get more candy; the amount will be obscene.

FEEDING THE WEREWOLF

I was out in my garden, sitting in my summer seat,

Waiting for the werewolf, for he was coming for his meat,

I heard a crackling in the wood,

Behind me, the werewolf stood,

I felt his hot breath, his teeth, and he proceeded to eat.

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JIMMY THE WEREWOLF LIMERICK

Jimmy the werewolf eats only toes off of feet,

His diet is strictly eating toe meat,

He loves chewing toe bone,

If it hurts, just make a loud moan,

Don't run or, he'll put teeth to your seat.

BATS TO VAMPIRES

An atomic bomb fell on my bat shed,

The bomb went off then my bats were dead,

But under some melting rubber tires,

Some bats became vampires,

Now no one is safe outdoors, or in bed.

LOOK AT WHAT THE OLD WITCH DID

There was an old witch who lived up on the hill,

Every fall, all the pretty flowers they'd kill,

Then when the plants were all bare,

Cold came in the air,

And, blankets of snow were laid down everywhere.

I FOUND THE LOCH NESS MONSTER IN MICHIGAN

I found the Loch Ness monster, swimming in Saginaw Bay,

I don't know how she got there, but her wake near swamped the quay,

Nessie really teases,

She swims where she pleases,

It's hard to tell where she'll be spotted, on a given day.

MY RADIATOR DIED, THEN I WENT TO THE HOUSE OF HORRORS

As to my radiator that died on the road,

I won't write a soliloquy, or even an ode,

Although I was demanding,

I didn't deserve stranding,

I was picked up by a stranger, and got Edgar Allen Poed.

THIS ZOMBIE POEM KILLS

Seven brain hungry zombies followed me home,

I used a rock and cracked three of them in the dome,

I defeated three with a stick,

They don't move real quick

I destroyed the seventh one's brain, when I recited this poem.

BREATH MINTS MATTER

Jimmy gave Joe some breath mints, and insisted Joe should take them soon,

Because werewolves were attracted to bad breath, and it was a full moon,

But, Joe was cheap,

Thought Jimmy, a creep,

Then Jimmy turned into a werewolf, and Joe and Jimmy began to spoon.

UNICORN HORN

I've been eating dear meat since I was Born,🍔

Today I got hankering for the Unicorn,🦄

I went unicorn hunting,🏹

Found a big one was grunting,👀

He horned me through the heart, now I'm torn.💔😵