JIMBO'S CHICKEN COOP FIRE

When Jimbo's chicken coop caught fire,

The chickens escaped over the chicken wire,

But, they didn't get anywhere,

They were all ate by a bear,

Now, Jimbo's chicken farm's future is dire.

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COOP

MY MARRIAGE ENDED, WHEN I WATCHED THE BARN BEARS

There were two bears in my barn, and they rolled in my hay,

I yelled and yelled at those bears, but they would not run away,

So I watched the bears play, 

All the rest of the day,

Then along came my spouse, who doused us all with bear spray.

SOMEONE ATE MY CHICKENS LIMERICK

Someone ate all of my chickens last night,
The only trace found were feathers, all white,
It must be the bear,
He left his tracks there,
And, he gave my truck tires a bite.  

GRANDMA AND THE FOUR BEARS

Four bears ate at grandpa's, but he was just a munch,

He was old and skinny and not a satisfying lunch,

But the bears found a winner,

When they ate grandma for dinner,

She was full of whiskey she had laced within her punch.

BEARS

Bears are coming out of their hibernation,

Looking for tourists with a Michigan destination,

And those bears like to eat,

All the fresh tourist meat,

Chugging swamp water for their libation.

THINGS THAT EAT AND DRINK MY STUFF POEM

Chipmunk ate my cupcake,
Squirrel ate my  asthma pill,
Otter ate my fish,
Rabbit ate my dill,

Bear drank my moonshine, 
River ate my road,
Rust ate my pickup truck,
A tornado ate my abode.

HAIRS, PEARS, WOLVES AND BEARS

I went out to pick some juicy pears,

And, had to fight off sixteen bears,

Then, a wolf pack gave me meany stares,

I said, "come get me, I double dares,"

They ate my bod from toes to hairs.

WHY I WEAR AN EYE PATCH

I had no extra eyes to spare,🙈

So, I went to a doctor to fix my eye tear,👣👁

The doc sewed my eye up tight,✂〰

Asked if I'd been in a fight,🌪🌪

I said, "No, I room with a lion and bear."🦁 🐻