CONTAMINATED GROCERIES, NOW MY CLOTHES MIGHT FIT

Bugs have laid eggs in my food, because my windows have no screens,

That is why I have those maggots, swimming in my pork and beans,

There is a fuzzy worm,

He's chewing my wheat germ,

Maybe I should just diet, at least I'll fit my skinny jeans.

FOOD FROM THE WEB

I'm eating spiders and their eggs,

They have no flavor and meatless legs,

But, they taste better than flies,

With their big bulging eyes,

Or, worms with bodies divided in segs.

12221

THE INFESTED

My refrigerator is infested with the bug called, the flea,

When I open the refridge door, they jump out all over me,

Now I itch and scratch, scratch,

Still, more fleas on me hatch, hatch,

And, I'm coughing up some worms; won't Mother Nature leave me be.

MY WORM BAIT LIMERICK

I thought I'd go fishing so, I picked up some worms,

I thought I'd catch keepers on my living bait terms,

But, the big fish weren't hard hitting,

My worms they were spitting,

I caught just minnows instead of large pachyderms.

DIRT NAP OR MASK

I didn't wear a mask because I didn't believe in germs,

Now, I'm down in the ground feeding all kinds of worms,

My new ghost has one task,

To preach, "Wear A Mask,

For dirt naps are a sentence with infinity terms."

FEEDING BIRDS HAIKU

Garden, Spading, Worms,
Birds, Squirmy, Meals, Yummy, Good,
Mowing Lawn, Bugs, Birds.

MY BIRDIE RELATIONS

The birdies like on worms to dine,
But I hang my washing on the line,
So my washing is speckled,
At work I am heckled,
My birdie relations aren't fine.

MY RADISHES AND THE YUCKY TASTE OF WORMS

My radishes were all full of worms,
When I salted them the worms made squirms,
But, all went into my soup,
And, after slurping each scoop,
Worms taste yucky my pallet confirms.

DRAGNET FOR MY FISHING POLE

I walked out on the dock and what did I pass?

A giant, a record, an enormous rock bass,

But, my pole was at the cabin, not out on the dock,

I took it to the cabin when I listened to Bach,

So, I ran back to the cabin to look for my pole,

I looked under the chairs and in every floor hole,

But, my fishing pole was not to be found,

I remembered I left it somewhere on the ground,

Alas, I sent the kids out in a fish pole dragnet,

And, one of them found it so expectations were met,

Then, another found my worms so; I knew I was set,

Next, I ran out on the dock to see if my bass was there yet,

Then, just as I saw that big rock bass in the bay,

He heard my running vibrations and swam fast away,

So, I fished off the dock for the rest of the day,

While, minnows tugged on my worm, trying to bait me to play. 

IF YOU WANT TO GO FISHING THERE IS NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN

If you want to go fishing there is no gain without pain,
To get the big worms you must go out in the rain,
So, in the rain I took hikes,
Survived two lightning strikes,
But, the second strike cooked half of my brain.

DRAGNET FOR MY FISHING POLE

I walked out on the dock and what did I pass?

A giant, a record, an enormous rock bass,

But, my pole was at the cabin, not out on the dock,

I took it to the cabin when I listened to Bach,

So, I ran back to the cabin to look for my pole,

I looked under the chairs and in every floor hole,

But, my fishing pole was not to be found,

I remembered I left it somewhere on the ground,

Alas, I sent the kids out in a fish pole dragnet,

And, one of them found it so expectations were met,

Then, another found my worms so; I knew I was set,

Next, I ran out on the dock to see if my bass was there yet,

Then, just as I saw that big rock bass in the bay,

He heard my running vibrations and swam fast away,

So, I fished off the dock for the rest of the day,

While, minnows tugged on my worm, trying to bait me to play. 

I WENT TO THE GYM NOW, MY BOD IS SO TRIM

I decided to workout at the gym,

I got covid and the outlook was grim,

I soon died from those germs,

Became food for the worms,

It's what happens when your brain light is dim.

MY PARASITES RULE DAYS AND NIGHTS

I am full of parasites,

Micro ones and big ones with bites,

They burrow in,

Organs and skin,

Making irritating days, restless nights.

I FINDS ME AN EARTHWORM

I went looking for earthworms to fish in the sea,

And, me finds an earthworm measuring in feet, thirty-three,

So, I turns to run,

But, that son-of-gun,

Catches and devours me.

     

                                                 The End

THE AFTERLIFE LIMERICK

Into the dirt or the fires in death we remorse,
To the worms or the ashes, what is our recourse,
Either a worm feces we become,
Or, an old tin urn we pour from,  
Finally, we return to the piles of our source.

MY COMPLAINT ABOUT WORMS (IN MY SOUP)

I complained about a worm in my soup,
It squirmed around in a loop,
It was not spaghetti,
And, I don't think I'm petty,
For, at the bottom of the bowl was a group.

A COFFEE CAN SAVES BIG BUCKS AND HELPS FEED LITTLE ONES

Of me, my family was no fan, 

My ashes were put in a coffee can,

And the worms my family picked up,

Upon my ashes they'd sup,

I was made to feel less than human.