LIFE OR DEATH IN THE MEAT SHOP

I went home from the meat store, but forgot to cull the outdated,

The next day, many customers found their bellies were ill fated,

It took a hospital machine,

To pump their guts completely clean,

I was fired the next day, and found out I was widely hated.

UNCLE LEE IN THE SALMON, AND A TREE IN THE DIRT

There was a big blue boat, the name was The Alfalfa Glee,

The boat went out racing around, and ran down Uncle Lee,

It chunked Lee right up,

Made him salmon sup,

There was no body to bury, so we planted a tree.

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PEGGY PEACOCK

Penny had a handsome, pet peacock, and Penny named him ABC,

ABC had a pretty, peacock girlfriend, known as 123, 

123 and ABC made a big egg,

The peacock that popped out, mama named her Peg,

Peg grew up, became a volunteer, and gave up her spare time for free.

THE PIMPLE POPPER GOT A JOB

Jimmy got a job as a taxi driver, after being fired from the city bus,

Jimmy grossed out all his cab fares, because he was always popping pimples full of white puss,

Because of his popping pimple sin,

Poor Jimmy, was fired once again,

Jimmy found a job in Michigan, hanging drywall sheets, for his favorite uncle, Gus.

GROCERY DIRECT

 My groceries were delivered, direct from the big store,

Some pops were broken open, and that made me really sore,

The pop soaked my cheddar cheese,

That brought me to my bare knees,

And, the pop soaked into my breads, now my breads are no more.

RICH AND POOR: THE DOUGH GLAZER STORY

I sold glazed donuts in my own glazed donut store,

I became filthy rich, and then went dirty poor,

A cave in of my dwelling,

Caused donuts to stop selling,

I had no insurance, so I could not restore.

UNCLE LEE IN THE HOOD

Uncle Lee worked on a garbage truck, and picked up garbage all day long,

While Uncle Lee picked all the garbage up, he would always sing a song,

The hood leaders did complain,

Lee's voice brought their ears great pain,

Uncle Lee stoped his singing, but thought the hood leaders, were mean and wrong.

LEGS: ACCIDENT OR CRIME

This morning for breakfast, I was served toast, bacon and eggs,

I noticed in my eggs two sets of tiny chicken legs,

The sight made me so very ill,

I had to take a heartburn pill,

Was this leg scandal purposeful, is what the question begs?

I WENT CLANGING DOWN THE HIGHWAY

I drove my pickup down the highway, while it made a clanging noise,

I drove it to the mechanic shop, called Big Jobs At Little Roy's,

My transmission was repaired,

Even the tires got re-aired,

I wrote Roy's a nice fat check, then used the toilet, marked Little Boys.

I DIGS A HOUND HOLE FOR MY FRIEND 2

My dearest friend in the world, the hound, he died,

The ancient woodland fairies, they cried and cried,

I put my hound in the hole,

Said "fare thee well", to his soul,

The fit was real tight, because the hole wasn't wide.

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I SELL MEALS IN KALKASKA

I opened a store to sell people a quick lunch,

I sold cake, sandwiches and ice cold lemon punch,

It was downtown Kalkaska,

Not the one in Nebraska,

I'll Soon be selling coffee and Bismarcks for brunch.

THE DELIVERY SNAIL

I decided to buy a new front door,

But, it's too far to the nearest door store,

I bought a door through the mail,

It was delivered by snail,

And boy, was that little snail feeling soar.

THE DROPPED POP AND REFUND FLOP

I ordered some packages of pop,

The delivery service made a drop,

The packages were leaking,

A refund I was seeking,

Online AI put my request on stop.

WHEN MY REMOTE CONTROL DIED

I happened to drop my remote control,
It sank to the bottom of my goldfish's bowl,
My remote control died,
My goldfish was fried,
After the service I buried them both in a hole.