LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
luck
.
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Showing posts with label
luck
.
Show all posts
Wednesday, November 6, 2024
I SKIPPED
I fell toward the wood floor when I slipped,
My shirt caught on a nail and it ripped,
My landing was hard,
It caught me off guard,
So, the rest of my day I just skipped
Wednesday, August 28, 2024
MY STREET APARTMENT IS GONE
The crickets are still chirping, but the air has turned coughing cold,
I'd take me an apartment, but those affordable are sold,
I set up a tent,
While at work, it went,
A garbage truck took it far away, that is what I was told.
Friday, November 3, 2023
WOLVES AREN'T BAD, BUT THEIR TEETH MAKE ME SAD
The big bad wolf chased me across the football field,
He wanted to catch, and eat me, but I wouldn't yield,
I knew he would soon start to eat,
When I felt his breath on my feet,
Then his teeth pierced my throat, and so my fate was sealed.
Monday, October 2, 2023
PEOPLE WHO DON'T USE TOILET PAPER, GET THEIR OWN OFFICE
Jumbo couldn't find the toilet paper, so he went back to bed,
He figured if a day starts nasty, the day was full of dread,
At noon, Jumbo got a call,
From his workmate, named Paul,
It seems, Jumbo the great slacker, was made the department head.
Friday, September 1, 2023
DEAD GUYS ARE OUT TO GET ME, SAYS MY PSYCHIC
I went to my Psychic, and her predictions were dire,
Some dead guy told her that he would blowout a tire,
One said he'd wait,
Then seal my fate,
By flying my kite into an electrical wire.
Thursday, May 18, 2023
YOU EITHER FISH FOR SUPPER OR WITH SUPPER
My fishing rig,
A plastic worm on a jig,
Caught a fish,
Don't I wish,
Super is a plastic worm and a cig.
Tuesday, November 29, 2022
WHEN THE LAVA CAME FOR ME
I have a volcanic eruption in my yard,
It's burns my tomato plants, and fries my Swiss chard,
Oh, oh, no, woe is me,
I'm drinking lava tea,
My gut will surely ache, when the lava cools hard.
Saturday, April 23, 2022
BREAKFAST POST ROAST URINE
I went to do an internet post,
While in thought I burned my toast,
It was my last slice of bread,
That was not stale, moldy dead,
My coffee tastes like a urinal roast.
Monday, April 11, 2022
MONDAY THE 13TH
Monday the 13th and I'm out of luck,
No sleep so, my work day is in muck,
I guzzled coffee and got wired,
So much so, I got fired,
And, my car got painted by 12 seagulls and a duck.
Friday, March 25, 2022
I WISH I WAS A LUCKY LARRY
Larry was a high school hero,
Who had an ego as big as Nero,
He said he'd live off his good looks,
And, never bother with the books,
He now has billions, while I have zero.
PP03252022
Tuesday, February 1, 2022
FEBRUARY 1ST
It is February the very first,
It's cold, arse cold, maybe the worst,
No car ride to the town,
The darn car's broken down,
And the woodstove got too hot and burst.
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