FEE-FI-FO-FOOP, I SMELL PORCH PIRATE SOUP

There was a little porch pirate who lived in the bushes near my stoop,

I knew he was living there, because I could smell his soup,

Every single day,

He'd steal my packages away,

Even my lawn mower, and my retro hula hoop.

DEMONS ARE SOMETIMES JUST MISUNDERSTOOD, AND VIOLENT

There was a little demon, who stole all of my dry goods,

I caught him making pancakes, way out yonder near the woods,

I demanded he give my dry goods back,

Instead he burnt down my barn and shack,

Of course demons can be violent, which I misunderstoods.

MY NEIGHBOR STOLE MY WALLET DURING A SNOW STORM

All that snow fell on the roof of my shack,

The roof caved in and I got pinned on my back,

I screamed and I yelled,

Along comes Mr. Weld

He only stole my wallet and told me not to tattle-telled.