I LOST MY JOB IN AEROSPACE

My boss kicked me hard, down the unemployment path,

Because my employer required I do math,

But not too long out the door,

I got work moping a floor,

On weekends at the zoo, I scrub down the giraffe.

I RAN FOR OFFICE AND WON

I was on the down ballot, on the down ballot way down deep,

Running for the coveted office, listed as County Creep,

Unopposed was I,

But we had a tie,

A coin toss made me #1, #2 became my Veep.

4524

I ITCHED WHERE THEY STICHED

I went to.the doctor's office to have them take out stiches,

It cost me every coin I got, I cleaned out my britches,

They covered my wound with a patch,

Said it was infected, don't scratch,

I said I had to scratch and scratch, because the dang thing itches.

FREE BOOZE ON NEW YEARS, AND MY BOSSES STILL HATE ME

New Years Eve I had over all my bosses,

And, they drank down all my sauces,

My party got praise,

But I didn't get a raise,

My alcohol bribes turned into loses.

TERMINATOR MAIL

My email said I was terminated,

Said my last check would be prorated,

It would reflect my slow pace,

1/3 of my pay base,

I felt cheated, and quite underrated.