THE LAW AND BEAVER MARGOT

Margot was a busy beaver, and she was busy every day,

Blocking up the Tobacco River, so all the water, it would stay,

After chewing on the trees,

They fell where Margot, did please,

The local sheriff used some dynamite, and the water went away.

THE CANARY AND THE RAVEN, A CAUTIONARY TALE

I had a big pet raven, and he liked to eat canary,

He used to eat them by the bunch, like a small, yellow berry,

The canary birds worked together,

Netted my raven in bad weather,

Then they roasted and ate him in a scene that was real scary. 

I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT

I went to see the King of Pudding, and the King first had me jailed,

Because I did not like his puddings, the King next had me impaled, 

I appealed to his big boss,

She was the Queen of Mustard Sauce,

But before the Queen could act, all my internal organs failed.

I GOT MY LICENCE, SO I'M NOT ON THE BOTTOM

My driver's licence has been renewed,

Without it, I would have been subdued,

I'd be held tight to the bottom,

When the road cops yelled, "we've got 'em",

In jail I'd be a boohoo sad, dude.

CUNNING ABSALOM

Poor little Absalom, did not see the big hawk coming,

Absalom was a little mouse, and not so fast at running,

When the hawk grabbed Absalom's tale,

Absalom let out such a a wail, 

The hark dropped Absalom, which showed Absalom was cunning.

DON'T PLAY WITH FIREWORKS AND SPARKLERS

Authorities won't let me have fireworks, because last year I burned down a house,

This year I can only have sparklers, when supervised by the spouse,

But the sparklers burned my fingers,

The smell of burnt flesh, still lingers,

Playing with fires is so dangerous, I should have had a tanker of water for a douse.

THE BIG ALPHA MALE

There was a great fish; a big alpha male,

He ate the other fish, from head to tail,

His body got stronger,

Wider and longer,

He choked to death trying to swallow a snail.

I GOT A LICKEN, WHEN TEXAS BANNED CHICKEN

A law was just passed saying you could no longer eat chicken,

If you were caught eating bird you'd get a public licken,

A punishment of pain,

Affects one's brain,

Then the smell of cooked bird makes you sicken.

THE RAW TRAVELIER

George needed to get his self some chaw,

So he traveled down to old Saginaw,

When George got off the Bus,

The police made a fuss,

For George traveled entirely raw.