ALPHA MAN TOUGH

I brush my teeth with coffee grounds, and kitty liter,

The litter is pee sour, but the grounds taste bitter,

I bathe in motor oil,

That I cook; make it boil,

I eat live birds filled with eggs, as I chew, they twitter.

CATS OUTSIDE

What should I do, on a boring, old Saturday night?

I could watch outside to see if the two tommys fight,

They have the love smittens,

Each wants to make kittens,

Potential ma cat thinks "no", and she has a hard bite.